“What do I say? Are you kidding me? What if I can’t run as fast as I did the last time? I mean I’m glad you rescued me there at the end but it was pretty intense right until I fell over the log. I thought I was going to die — now you want to go camping?”
“I understand your apprehension but don’t you think you should get back out there? The animal control person checked the area and there were no more bears. They say that one was a rogue – he shouldn’t have been here. Besides I’m talking about camping on the other side of the lake. It’s a popular spot and we probably would not be the only campers.” She didn’t look convinced but she didn’t argue with me either. She crossed her arms and walked alongside me, looking at the lake and the scenery. I had no idea what she was thinking; Lilly played things close to the vest sometimes. Other times I knew exactly what she was thinking. I loved the outdoors and I wanted to share this beautiful place with her. And if we ended up having sex, that was even better.
“Are you sure? I mean your cabin seems perfect. You really want to go camping in the woods?”
I took her hand and kissed her softly. “Yes I really want to go but I don’t want to force you to go. I tell you what, let’s try it and if you don’t like it we will get back in the boat and come back to this side of the lake. I will make you trek all the way around the lake to go to the campsite. I’ll teach you how to fish. Haven’t you ever wanted to learn or do you already know how?”
“I have never fished a day in my life. I will go but you better bring plenty of bullets—and I mean for the gun. I am pretty sure I can only handle just one of you.”
“Now there’s a fantasy. One of you and many of me. Let’s play that game again. What’s it called? Truth or dare?” She pretended to punch my shoulder but then threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. Her warm lips tasted like peaches — must have been her lip gloss. I liked it. I liked her. Then that question popped up again in my mind.
But do you love her?
Chapter Seven
Lilly
Here I was and I couldn’t believe it. Not two days after being chased by a bear I was loading gear onto a boat with a near stranger and headed back out into the wilderness. There must seriously be something wrong with me. Am I so needy that I would put myself in danger just to be close to him? Quite possibly, because here I sat feeling mad at the world but mostly myself.
Last night had been nice. We had spent a quiet evening at the cabin talking about our favorite books, music and movies. It was nice just to be myself and get to know the good doctor. I had been kind of forward with him that morning but by the time evening rolled around I was tired and not feeling as frisky as he probably wanted. After my near-death experience, I didn’t give a hoot about “keeping him interested” or what it would mean if I didn’t. He had just about convinced me not to go through with the surgery and I had mentioned that once, but still mulled it over. I stopped hanging out around nine telling him I had to study. It was the truth but I didn’t spend much time studying; I spent several hours texting Kate. My dark-haired friend found herself in yet another Riley drama and wanted to call it quits. I had to give it to her — when she went all in, she went all in.
What was really weird was the email that I received sometime late last night. It was a short message from Evan. It was as if he knew I had been talking about him earlier that day. And in his email, which I almost deleted without opening, he apologized for making “the biggest mistake of his life.” He wanted to know if there was some way he could make it up to me. Lilly, I miss our friendship. I let you down in a big way. If you could think of any way, any way at all that I could make it up to you please tell me. I am not the same man you knew.
After rummaging through the pantry and the refrigerator Bullet and I decided that a trip into town wasn’t necessary for our camping date so we loaded up the goods we had and walked to the boat. I didn’t even try to be chipper. The sun had not yet made an appearance and it was far too early to be excited about sleeping in the woods. Trying to cheer me up, he promised me a trip into town once we returned. I look forward to it. I was definitely a city girl, although I seriously doubted if downtown Blue Lake was much more than a few stoplights and shops. If I felt like being honest with myself I was probably feeling crabby because of the email. Why in the world would this guy email me now? Everything had ended so badly yet through his major — and I do mean major screw up — I ended up with a great friend. At least he had good taste in women.
A few minutes into our trip, fingers of color appeared on the distant horizon. The sun emerged quickly casting its glorious light over the lake. What is wrong with you, Lily? Just look at him. Bullet stood behind the wheel of the boat. His dark hair fluttered in the breeze. I could not see where his eyes were focused since he wore dark shades but he shared his brilliant white grin with me. Bullet Steinmann was a thing of beauty; an imperfect womanizer who I wanted to save, just like Evan. I saw how well that worked out the last time.
“Just a few minutes away now. You can see the camp right from here. I see one other boat but that’s it.” Bullet seemed as excited as a kid about to walk into a candy store. I guess he really enjoyed camping — I hoped he could change my perspective. I liked playing outdoors but not sleeping outdoors. Who knew that I would be camping this weekend? I sure didn’t.
In just a few minutes we had pulled up to the dock and secured the boat. The other campers were leaving, just weekenders who happened to be passing through the area. The four of us chatted and we waved goodbye to our new friends and began to unload our goods. Rather than take the spot they had previously used, Bullet wanted to camp out in the adjoining campsite. I saw a small restroom facility and a fire pit — both of which made me a little happier.
“Let’s put the supplies here by the picnic table. I’ll get the tent set up; while you wander around and gather some wood. Don’t go off into the woods, just stick to the campsite.” Oh don’t you worry about that! With a halfhearted smile I set off to gather wood for the fire; apparently we were going to need quite a bit of it. If we stayed all night, and that was a big if, we would need a good stack of wood to keep the fire going. Bullet moved quickly, much quicker than I did. After a few loads, I decided it was time for some coffee. I dug into the bag for the thermos, pouring myself a steaming cup of Java. It smelled like heaven!
“You quitting on me already?” He stowed the sleeping bags inside the tent and stuffed the food in the coolers.
“Nope, just taking a coffee break. I think I’m awake now. So what is on the agenda for today?” I tried to sound happy but I knew it just ended up flat.
“I thought we would go fishing, you said you had never been. It’s time to learn, don’t you think? Bring your coffee and follow me. We’ll fish from the dock. I’m pretty sure there are no bears there.”
I tossed down the last sip of my coffee and screwed the lid back on the thermos. “What is that supposed to mean?” Was he insinuating that I was afraid? Didn’t I have reason to be?
“Is something bothering you? I mean, you have not been yourself since you woke up this morning. I don’t know what the problem is but it would be nice if you were a little happier. How is that for honesty?”
“The only thing that is bothering me is being in the woods. You said a cabin — not a tent. And if I recall correctly, you never mentioned wildlife that might eat me.” God, I sounded bitchy. What was wrong with me?
Bullet stood with his hands on his hips. He looked as pissed as I felt. “I’m going fishing. If you want to come, you know where I will be.” I watched him walk away and I flopped down at the picnic table and put my head in my hands. I knew what this turmoil was really all about. It was about me. I had to leave the past behind and reach for the future. I could not afford to continue to grieve over what I had with Evan
. That was over. He was not who I wanted. I wanted the guy I was with and he wasn’t much better. Man, I needed my head examined. I looked at my watch. Bullet had been gone at least 20 minutes and wasn’t coming back. Oh my goodness! What if he left me here? If I want to be with him so bad, why am I here and not with him? That was a good question. I swallowed my pride and walked toward the pier. Bullet was there, his back towards me. I walked as quietly as I could – I didn’t want to scare the fish, if that was a real thing. I saw that on a movie once. About at the halfway mark, Bullet cocked back the rod and a hook caught me. I screamed in surprise and stared at the back of my hand — there was a hook close digging into me. Immediately Bullet got up and ran to me. I was thankful he didn’t snatch the fishing pole and rip the hook out of my hand.
“That’s not bad. I can get that out.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife.
“No! You can’t use that on me.” I pulled my hand away. I didn’t care if he was a surgeon, I didn’t want him digging into me with a Swiss Army knife. He opened a knife to the scissor attachment and cut the line.
“Come on. I have a first aid kit in the tent. It really isn’t bad. I can get that out in no time. See it’s just the top layer of skin. You are lucky — it could have been an eye or your lip.”
“Ow! That really hurts.”
“Well don’t play with it! When I’m done it’ll be gone and you can go back to sneaking up on people.” Bullet sounded aggravated and I can’t say I blamed him but that was no excuse to snipe at me. It was his hook in my hand. His jaw popped and he held me by the arm as if I were going to run away or something. That’s it. I’m done with him. I imagined life without him. Would I even miss him? Wasn’t this just a “sex-cation?” Oh man, I love his cologne.