“I can text you the address if you want,” Jagger says, but he’s so nonchalant that I get the feeling maybe he doesn’t want me to go at all but is extending the invite just to be nice. Casual. Casual. Casual. I say that in my head three times and try to seriously push down how much I’m dying for him to kiss me.
“Okay,” I say instead.
“No pressure.” He shrugs a shoulder. “But if you want to go . . . ”
“Maybe I can stop by.” I smile. He starts walking out of the kitchen, but stops when I speak again. “How’s your shoulder feeling? Have you been stretching it?”
“Yep. Following my doctor’s orders.” He winks as he walks away.
We never finished our conversation at brunch the other day and I haven’t seen much of him at all this past week. I feel like a total ass about the way I walked out of that restaurant, too. It’s not like Jagger doesn’t have a million and one people to talk to about his problems, but he chose to tell me that day and I chose to walk away, so it’s my fault things are weird between us now. I’ve been avoiding him mostly because I don’t know how to act around him, but I figured once I saw him again things would be cool, totally normal. Obviously, I was wrong. I hate it. Jagger walks back out of his room, bringing a duffel bag with him and my heart slams into my chest. I know it’s just a bag and he has a game, but it makes me think about the day we moved in and suddenly I get sad knowing that this too will come to an end. I must be wearing my emotions on my face because he stops walking and looks at me, those toffee eyes all concerned.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Totally fine.” I nod and swallow. “I feel like I owe you an apology for how I reacted the other day.”
“You don’t.”
“Right, but I feel like I do.” I bite my lip. “You opened up and I was so caught up in my own shit and . . . ” I inhale and exhale heavily. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. Truly.” He smiles, but it’s not that carefree, joyous smile I’ve gotten used to and it pains me.
“I would say I can make it up to you with dinner or something, but I know you don’t do dinner and casual.”
“I don’t.” He shrugs a shoulder. “Dinner might be nice though.” He glances at his fitness watch and back at me. “I’ll see you later.”
“Good luck.” I rush behind him, following him to the front door. I want to kiss him. I want to hug him. I want to apologize again and talk things out. Instead, I stand there, even as he turns to face me and looks at me like he’s waiting for more. “I hope you kick ass. I’ll be watching from the bar.”
“Thanks.” He smiles again, another polite one I can’t stand and then he’s gone.
All I can do is shut the door behind him and lean against it, my emotions clawing at me because I know I’ve messed up and I don’t know how to fix this or if there’s anything to fix at all. He said dinner would be nice, but does that mean dinner would be nice because we’re no longer going to hook up? Or because he’s open to something more? Ugh. I hate not knowing.
Chapter Thirty
Jagger
Not only did we win, but we crushed them, 28-7. Two of those touchdowns scored by me. The guys are still laughing and slapping each other on the back when we get out of the locker room after showers and stretches. Coach B asked us to meet him back in the room they newly assigned to reporters. When we get there, it’s been cleared of reporters and we all take a seat in the ones they vacated. Coach B is standing up front with the rest of the coaching staff, who are all smiling and talking amongst themselves. Adrenaline is still pumping through me as Coach starts talking about the game and I find myself glancing down at my phone to look at the time. Jo gets off work soon, but she still hasn’t texted me back about the party after I sent the address. I wanted to tell her to come with me, to invite her as my date, but thought better of it. She’s been acting weird and obviously needs her space so I’m trying to give it to her.
“Cruz, you going to join us or keep daydreaming?” Coach B asks. I snap my attention to him as my teammates laugh.
“Sorry, Coach.”
“You showed up today. I know you’ve been worried about your arm, but you played like you were fearless. That’s what we need to see out there,” he says. “We have a bye next week, but we’re still practicing Monday through Thursday. You’re dismissed. Go have some fun but not too much fun,” he calls out as we file out of the room, all of us collectively buzzing.