And yet that was a fantasy. “I can’t do that,” I said. “You don’t understand.”
“I think I do,” he said. “You’re nobody’s property. If you want to stay with me—”
“You’re a stranger,” I said, interrupting him. “We had one night together. It was one very good night but that’s not something we can possibly base an entire life on.”
“It’s my baby,” he said, and he sounded almost angry. “I don’t want my child raised by a man like Stuart.”
I grimaced slightly and tapped my fingers on the mug. “It doesn’t have to be like that,” I said. “We can come up with another solution. You can have rights—”
“Fuck rights,” he said, and I leaned back, surprised. I caught a glimpse of the mafia animal beneath that handsome and patient exterior. It was dark and simmered down below. “I want my baby and I want you. Stay here and I’ll prove it.”
I stared at him, my mouth hanging open. He really was beautiful in a way I didn’t fully understand, and his simple view of the world was tempting. I really did want to listen and walk away from all my responsibilities to my family, get away from Stuart and our future marriage, but I knew it could never happen.
“Even if I wanted that,” I said softly, “which I don’t, but even if I did, my family would never let it happen.”
“We’ll deal with them,” he said. “You’re an adult. They can’t force you away from me.”
“You’d be surprised.” I gave him a sad, twisted smile. I felt like I was torn into pieces. “It’s a kind offer, but we don’t know each other.”
“I want to know you,” he said, and I believed him. I don’t think I’d ever met someone as sincere as him, and it scared the hell out of me.
“I’m going back home,” I said. “I know you don’t want that, but I’m going to. I’ll tell my parents and deal with the fallout and maybe Stuart won’t marry me, but that will be fine. We’ll arrange for some kind of situation so you can see the child, and maybe there will be some money involved—”
“I don’t want your money,” he said, leaning back as if I’d slapped him.
I bit my lip. Clearly, I overstepped. “I’m only saying, we can find an arrangement.”
“I’m not taking bribes to stay away from my child,” he said, narrowing his gaze, jaw locked in a grimace. “I’m not interested in your money, Ash. You think I need more money?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know you. That’s the whole point.” I pushed back from the table and it almost physically hurt me to step away from him like that. I stalked toward the door, heart hammering, then stopped and turned. He stood at the table watching me with animal eyes, like a predator staring at his next meal, and god, it was beautiful. I loved that gaze, those hard eyes, and I thought back to the feeling of him inside of me, the way he took me however he wanted and gave me just as much pleasure in return. I knew I’d never feel anything like that again, and it broke my heart.
“You don’t have to go,” he said. “You keep saying we’re strangers. Stay and change that.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Coming here was a mistake.” I put my hand on the doorknob. “Thanks for taking me in last night. I really needed that.”
“What’ll happen to you now?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I think things will be hard, but I’ll survive.” I tore my gaze from him before I started crying again. “I’ll let you see your baby. I promise.”
With that, I ripped open the door and threw myself outside. I slammed it shut behind me and hurried down the stoop as the tears fell again. My car was parked halfway down the block and I pulled into traffic, tears streaming down my face, but I didn’t stop and I didn’t look back.
I felt like I was losing something by leaving that house, like I’d never have a future that I deserved as I drove back to my family’s home, intent on telling them everything.
4
Gian
I sat over a glass of whiskey and Dean sat next to me. The bar was dead on a Wednesday morning. Even the drunks and the regulars hadn’t shown up yet, though they would soon enough. The bartender was a rough old lady that went about her usual morning routine cleaning the floors and wiping down the glasses.
“You looked all fucked up,” Dean said. “Is it true, what you said on the phone? You got some girl pregnant?”
“Yeah, it’s true,” I grunted. “But she’s not some girl.”
“Who?” he asked.
“Her name’s Ashleigh Adamson.”
Dean sucked in a sharp breath. “Can’t be the Adamson family, right? I mean, that’s a relatively common name, right?”