She cups her hands together around my head, face, and chest. Like she’s capturing butterflies or lightning bugs. “Uh…whatcha doing, chickadee?”
“This.” She holds her cupped hands in front of her. “All this darkness and bad energy. Stays here. Let the ocean purify it.”
She’s totally serious and straight-faced as she drops down and presses her hands into the sandy hole, releasing whatever she captured.
When she seems satisfied, she quickly fills the spot in, packing the sand down hard.
I’m not sure if I believe in whatever she’s doing but I appreciate the intent behind her short ritual. Too bad I have to ruin it with my big mouth. “You can’t bury the past, Shelby. I’ve tried. Look where it got me.”
“I’m not trying to bury your past. Good and bad, it’s made you who you are. But the hurt and dark feelings? Leave them here.” She rests her palm against my chest. “The past isn’t your home. Your home is with me right here in the present and the future we’re going to create together.”
Chapter Sixteen
Rooster
The first rays of sunlight slide along the edges of the RV’s blinds the next morning. Maybe there was something to Shelby’s energy cleansing ritual yesterday. No nightmares followed me home from the beach.
Then again, I always sleep well next to Shelby. I glance at her soft, sleeping form. No regret about sharing my past with her clings to me. My painful secrets are safe with her.
This time, I made the right choice. She’s the right person.
Careful not to wake her, I slide out of bed and throw on some clothes.
It’s cool and slightly damp outside. Feels good, though. I inhale deeply and catch the outline of someone sitting on top of one of the picnic benches by the water.
I crunch over the pebbles, not bothering to be quiet about my approach. He’ll sense me coming either way.
“I told her all of it.” My voice breaks the stillness.
Jigsaw slowly turns his head, his dark gaze roaming over me for a few seconds. “And?”
“Well, she’s still here. She didn’t run away screaming.”
His gaze narrows. “I hate to be a dick so early in the morning and say ‘I told you so’ but…”
“Yeah, God forbid you ever act like a dick.”
He flicks a look toward the RV. “Em would’ve loved her.”
The corners of my mouth quirk. “No doubt.”
“I miss her.” He takes one of the pebbles lined up next to his feet and rolls it between his fingers. “I think about her a lot.”
“Me too.”
“She was a good woman.”
“Yeah.”
“I mean it,” he says with more force. “They didn’t have to take me in—”
“They didn’t have to take me in either. Social services was more than willing to stick me somewhere.”
“You were family. I was a little punk.”
“True story.”
He side-eyes me. “They treated me like family.”
“You are family.” I stare up at the trees. “You’re the only family I have left.”
“We have the club.”
“True.”
He glances over his shoulder again. “You have Shelby now.”
It’s hard to tell if he’ll be annoyed or reassured, but I figure he needs to hear this. “You’ll always be my brother.”
He flicks the pebble into the water. “My parents—”
“Were fucking evil.” I don’t need a crystal ball to figure out what’s gotten into Jiggy this morning. We’ve never had one of these conversations stone-cold sober. Certainly not at Satan’s-bedtime o’clock in the morning.
“You all right, bro?” I climb up onto the table next to him and pat his leg.
“I’m fine.” He waves his hand toward the RV. “I don’t like to bring it up. But since I assume it’s already on your mind today...” He shrugs. “I wanted to tell you that I think about them a lot.”
Fucking Ashley. No matter how much it sucked for me to deal with her yesterday, having her pop up like the ghost of haunted childhoods probably brought up a lot of pain for Jiggy. Stuff he’d rather not dwell on.
“You tell her about your mom…before?” he asks.
“Some highlights, yeah.”
He stares at his fists, opening and closing them. “I loved your mom. She always treated me good. I always felt loved around her.”
A lump settles in my throat. “She did love you. She always thought we’d be road-tripping together.”
He nods even though I know I’ve told him that before. “You ever think about all the good people who aren’t here anymore, when there’s so much fucking evil still walking around?”
I’m not sure I think of it specifically in those terms but I get what he’s saying. “Sometimes.”
“Do you think we’re evil?”
Haven’t cared to ask myself that question in a long time. “We’ve done evil things.” There’s no point denying that. “Shelby seems to think any crimes I’ve committed probably made the world a better place.” And hadn’t that sentiment floored me.
His body jerks to the side so he’s facing me. “What’d you tell her?”