And sadly, he wouldn’t be around to see Gizmo’s transformation from an ornery puppy to a well-behaved dog. But more than that, Jackson was going to miss Serena. She was a ray of sunshine in his otherwise bland and gray life.
But before all of that, he had his present for her. While Serena was off searching the kitchen, Jackson pulled out his cell phone to forward her the video. Luckily they’d been talking over lunch yesterday about how to keep in touch and she’d given him her email—[email protected] He smiled at the address. He didn’t think he’d ever forget it—or her.
* * *
“I have it.”
Serena ran into the great room, waving the envelope around.
“Where did you find it?” Jackson asked as he stood next to the Christmas tree.
“Under the bed. I also found my wallet. I didn’t even know that it was missing...again. I must have put it down when I got back from the bakery and he found it. I also found my hairbrush and one of your socks. He had quite a collection.”
“Well, bring it over here.” When she approached him and held out the sock, he smiled. “Not that.”
She dropped the sock on the floor. “Did you mean this?”
“Yes.” He snatched the envelope from her fingers.
She automatically grabbed for it, but he held it out of her reach. “Hey, that wasn’t fair.”
“Ah...but see, it has my name on it.” He pointed to where she’d scrolled his name with a red pen.
“But...” The protest died in her throat. What was she going to say? That she was having an attack of nerves? How would that sound? “Oh, go ahead.”
She didn’t have to tell him twice. He jabbed his finger into the corner of the envelope and started to rip the seam open. Talk about an overgrown child.
He pulled out the folded piece of paper. His face was void of expression as he read it. His gaze moved to her and then back to the paper. For the longest time, he didn’t say anything.
“I don’t understand.” His eyes studied hers.
Was he serious? She didn’t think it was that hard to understand. But if he really needed her to break it down for him, she could do it in three words. “I love you.”
Jackson took a step back as though her admission had dealt him a physical blow. “No, you don’t.”
AKA, he didn’t love her back. And by the horrified look on his face, he didn’t want her moving to New York, either. Her heart plummeted down to her toes. She blinked repeatedly. She would not cry in front o
f him. She moved to retrieve the note from his hand, but he took another step away from her.
With his back against the tree, he said, “You can’t love me. It’s too soon.”
Each denial that passed by his lips was like a dagger stabbing into her fragile heart. Her vision blurred. She blinked away the unshed tears and then summoned a steady voice. “I think what you mean to say is that you don’t love me.”
“I... I...”
“Save it. The truth is written all over your face.”
“I tried to tell you that I wasn’t ready for a relationship.”
“Was that before or after we made love? Or perhaps when you offered to do this interview? Because I never heard those words. You made it seem like—well, it doesn’t matter because I obviously read everything wrong.”
“I never meant to hurt you. You’ve been great. I really appreciate everything you’ve done—”
She glared at him. “Stop with the kind words.” The last thing she could stand now was him being all nice to her. He was yet another man who took what he needed from her heedless of her feelings. “The truth is you think that the time we’ve spent together was a mistake. One you wish you could forget.”
“Serena, I...” He hesitated as he stared at her, seeing that she meant business. “Okay. You’re right. I did things and said things that I shouldn’t have done. Our time together was great. You’re great. But it can’t last. You’ve got to understand. I still love my wife.”
The words were pointed and drove straight into her heart. For a moment, she couldn’t breathe. So this was it. There was nowhere to go from there. She struggled to keep it all together. She forced herself to take one breath and then another. The last thing in the world she wanted was for him to see just how deeply his words had hurt her.