I blow out a breath. “Sorry. Not work-related. I’m fine.”
My phone buzzes, and I can’t help but look.
Abbi: Listen, I know this might not be a big deal for us once it ends, but I don’t think it’s fair to expect our friends to understand the limits of our relationship. I just don’t want to make drama where there doesn’t need to be drama.
Right. Why should I expect my friends to accept this is temporary when even I can’t?
Kace pulls one of my guest chairs away from the wall and closer to my desk. “Let me guess,” he says. “Amy?”
I shake my head. “No. Not Amy.”
Kace arches a brow. “You’re not just saying that?”
“I’ve moved on. Seriously, you were all right, and I needed to let that ship sail. This is . . .” I blow out a breath. “This is someone new.” I hate it, I realize. The secrets, the sneaking around. Yeah, it’s fun to fuck around in public places, fun to have to be quick and quiet so no one knows what we’re doing, but that’s just a sexual turn-on. It’s not life. I don’t want to live my life like this.
“Stella said you mentioned something about someone new. When do we get to meet her?”
I lean my head side to side, stretching out my neck. “You already know her, and go ahead and stop your questions there, because I can’t say anything else.”
“Another secret affair?” he asks, but there’s no bitterness in his voice—none of the resentment he’s entitled to. My sister did that for him. She helped him move on from Amy when no one thought he ever would. And Abbi did it for me.
The difference is that Stella wanted Kace, and Abbi . . . hell, I guess I don’t know what Abbi wants from me, if there’s any chance she might want more than some confidence in the bedroom. That’s probably something we should figure out. But maybe not yet. Maybe first I need to finish giving her exactly what we started this for. Even if the idea of seeing her with another guy one day down the road kills me.
“Secret for now,” I finally reply. “You know how this town is.” It’s the best excuse I can muster. I can tell Kace isn’t buying it, but he’s a good friend and doesn’t push the issue.
My thoughts snag on the night in Kace’s backyard when Smithy said Abbi and I couldn’t stop staring at each other, and I wonder why he’s not the least bit suspicious. Then he saw us together outside the gym, and we fed him that bullshit about how it was a big coincidence that we were both there for massages at the same time. Is it that hard for him to imagine Abbi might give me a chance?
I shove the thoughts away. I’m pretty sure I’m overthinking this.
“Mom’s been nagging me about bringing you to Sunday dinner,” Kace says. “Get your ass there soon so I don’t have to hear any more of it, okay?”
“I have plans this Sunday.”
“With the girl?”
“Yeah.” I hold his gaze and wonder what he’d think if he knew “the girl” was his sister. Does he want his sister to end up with someone with my history? My shit father sure didn’t seem to be an issue for him with Stella, but maybe there’s a double standard there. I blow out a breath and try to bring my thought spiral to a halt. “Anyway, I’ve been avoiding dinner with your folks for a reason.”
Kace narrows his eyes. “And what would that be?”
I clear my throat and for the thousandth time realize I was such a fucking idiot with Amy. I should’ve never messed around with her to begin with. “I mean, the thing with Amy . . .”
Kace shakes his head. “Mom and Dad don’t know anything about that.”
My shoulders sag. Until this moment, I hadn’t realized how heavily that was weighing on me. “Thank you for that.”
Kace smacks me between my shoulder blades. “Don’t mention it.” He flashes a grim smile. “But seriously, don’t mention it. You don’t want to wake Mama Bear Matthews.”
I grin. “Trust me. I remember.”
“I respect your time with your girl, but get over there soon.”
Nodding, I grab my phone and type out a quick reply to Abbi. There’s no reason for me to get all butthurt about her not wanting to go out with me. That was never our agreement.
Dean: I get it. Your place, then?
I guess I should be grateful that the nature of text messaging hides the disappointment I know Kace can see in my face.
* * *
Stella wobbles under the weight of the sledgehammer and teeters in her heels.
I cringe. “This is a terrible idea.”
“Shut up,” she growls. “I’m not a weakling. I can do this.”
It’s Saturday, and since Abbi has to work all day, I agreed to help Kace start his latest project by gutting his old master bath.