She doesn’t reply, so I keep going. Because she needs to know. “I think I’ve been in love with you since the night we met. And I know that sounds crazy and implausible—like one of those things the guy says when he’s trying to win the girl—but for me, it’s just true. I love you and I’m terrified that you’re going to ruin your life because of it. I’m not telling you to take his ring. I honestly believe that if he were worthy of you, you wouldn’t be here with me. But don’t let me be the reason you don’t take the life you want.”
“What if you’re the life I want?”
There it is again. That snag on my heart, a tiny tear at the top as it’s caught in the middle of this internal war. “You’re asking me for something I can’t give.”
I WAIT until he loosens his hold and then I turn in his arms. “Okay. But there is something you can give me.”
His brow furrows and his eyes drop to my lips. “What’s that?”
“Make love to me, Nate. I want you to be my first.”
Holding my breath, I wait for him to respond. His breathing changes, and he threads his fingers through my hair and tucks it behind my ear. “Hanna,” he murmurs, and I know from the way his voice breaks that he’s lost the battle with himself.
I close the inches between our mouths and sweep my lips over his. Before I can pull away, he fists his hand in my hair and holds me tight. The kiss turns hungry and desperate, and I understand. For three months, we’ve been building up to this moment, and as much as I’m sure of my decision, my belly is a bundle of wild nerves.
He rolls us until I’m on my back and he’s hovering over me. He parts my robe with one hand and lowers his mouth to my neck, my breasts, my belly. I shove his pants down, and he kicks them to the side. I’m trembling by the time he tugs my panties from my hips and pushes my thighs apart.
“Once won’t be enough,” he murmurs as his mouth skims my hipbones. He rocks his hand against me, and I raise my hips off the bed.
“Please,” I whisper. “Don’t make me wait.”
After grabbing a condom from the drawer, he sits back to slide it over his thick erection. Then he lifts his eyes to mine. “There’s so much I want to show you, and you’re going to be sore tomorrow.”
I grin. “Pretty confident, aren’t you?”
He moves back up my body until he’s framing my face in his hands. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes the first time he saw me naked, the intensity, the heat. But it’s different now. There’s something else in those dark, expressive eyes. Tenderness. Love.
Maybe I thought it would be rough and crazed if Nate and I ever made love, but he’s not in any hurry. His mouth on mine is slow and thorough and full of promise, and when he breaks the kiss, I feel him poised at my entrance. He watches me as he slowly slides in, and I’m so desperate for more that I want to arch my back and push him deeper.
“Please,” I murmur.
He shuts his eyes for a breath, and his lids are heavy when he opens them again. “You feel so fucking amazing. But I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”
“It’s okay,” I whisper. “It feels good. I want more.”
He hesitates a moment. Then he sinks all the way in. There’s a stretching and pulling sensation, but it’s not pain, not exactly. It feels too good to be described at pain. It’s just adjustment as my body stretches to accommodate him.
He’s completely still inside me as he sprinkles kisses across the bridge of my nose and down the crook of my neck. When I lift my hips, he groans. “Do you feel okay?”
“It’s good,” I whisper. I draw up my knees, and we both lose our breath for a second as our positions adjust and he’s fully sheathed by me. I lock my ankles behind his back. “So good.”
He lowers his mouth to my ear as he finds his rhythm. Each time he presses into me, fills me up, he touches some deep spot that begs for more. It’s a new sensation. Deep and unexpected. I wouldn’t know how to describe it if I had to.
“I’ve dreamed about this,” he murmurs against my ear. “I’d dream that we got carried away, and it felt so damn good.” He nips at my ear. “Then I’d wake up and you’d be next to me. So fucking sweet and beautiful. I’ve wanted to do this since that first night. And knowing that you were a virgin…” He groans in my ear and slips a hand between our bodies, finding my clit with his thumb.
I cry out and squeeze around him.
“I wanted to be the one to show you how good this feels.” He adds more pressure to my clit and drives deeper with those words. I feel myself coil tight, so close to release. “I’ve spent months imagining what it’d be like to have you squeezing my dick when you come.”
My body quivers with orgasm, and I can’t help but rock my hips as I ride it out. I expect him to come with me or right after, but when my body has turned to mush and the orgasm has passed, he pushes up on his elbows and smiles at me. It’s not his normal cocky grin. It’s this sweet, vulnerable smile that seems to say I’ve just made him happy.
“You are so sexy,” he whispers. “So fucking sexy you make me lose my mind.”
I lick my lips. “I like it when you lose your mind.”
He pulls out almost all the way, and I gasp with the loss. He grips my hips and rises onto his knees, lifting my hips up off the bed and keeping us connected. For a second, I think he’s going to stop, that he’s done with me, but then he’s filling me again, driving into me at this new, deeper angle. His eyes are hot and his gaze is locked on that spot where our bodies meet, and I suddenly understand the appeal of the position. They say that women aren’t visual, but seeing all of Nate, watching him lose his control as he thrusts his hips, is so hot it has me climbing again.
“That’s right, angel,” he growls, lifting his eyes to mine.