Levi
Ellie rests her head against my shoulder as the sun dips low on the horizon and the cicadas start to sing. It feels good to have her here, and that little bit of contact—her easy lean toward me—is everything.
Only when I turn to suggest that we go back to the truck to head home do I realize her eyes are closed. She’s fallen asleep. Her neck’s at an awkward angle, and her body’s slumped sideways.
Shifting carefully, I guide her down to lie in my lap. I wrap an arm around her waist so she won’t roll off the edge of our rocky perch and into the lake. But once she’s settled, I still can’t take my eyes off her. Her dark hair is spread out across my lap, her sooty lashes are resting against her freckled cheeks, and her lips are slightly parted. The sun is setting, and soon I’ll only have the light of the moon and stars to see by. I want to memorize her in every light.
“You’re beautiful,” I whisper. She opens her eyes, and when I realize she heard me, I don’t even care. “I’m sure guys tell you that all the time, but I’ve never gotten a turn.” My voice is huskier this time, thick with a vulnerability I can’t deny. “I thought I’d have a chance the night we met. I imagined getting you alone at that party. I thought I’d tell you then.”
“But you didn’t,” she says, studying my face.
I sweep a lock of hair off her cheek and tuck it behind her ear. “Colton showed up and he’d already claimed you.” I tear my gaze off her to tilt my face toward the sky.
“I didn’t think you liked me. When Colton and I were new, you were cold to me for a long time.”
Because you were too close to our secrets. And because I wanted you for myself. “You were his. Whether I liked it or not. Colton’s an idiot who went through girls like they were disposable.”
She studies me carefully. “You’ve said that before, but I’m not his.”
“I don’t mean it like that. I just mean . . .”
“But he does. He thinks he can fuck around on me, have this whole relationship with someone else and only share the parts of himself he finds convenient, and I should be at home waiting. Because I’m his. But it doesn’t work that way. I’m not property. I don’t belong to anyone and I can walk away any time I want.”
I swallow hard. She didn’t walk away—even when she should have—and I guess I’m not sure yet if she’ll really walk away this time.
She sits up and grimaces, arching her back as she stretches. “I’d rather not talk about him tonight. If that’s okay?”
“Sorry.” The last of the sun disappears in the distance. “Are you ready to get out of here?”
“I don’t want to go home,” she says, and I make myself wait a beat before I respond. Because I don’t want to take her home, but I’m not sure I should be inviting her to come to my house either.
“Do you want to stay at the cabin?”
She shakes her head. “That’s too real. Can we just stay out here? Not all night. Just . . . longer.”
“Anything you want.”
She stands and climbs into the bed of my truck, flashing me a mischievous smile over her shoulder. “Wanna come look at some stars with a woman who doesn’t belong to anyone, Levi Jackson?”
I swallow thickly and nod, following her into the truck bed. “Here.” I reach into the back seat of the truck and grab the blankets I keep with the emergency kit in there. She helps me spread one out, then wastes no time lying down and putting her hands behind her head.
She’s so fucking beautiful under the full moon. Her body is stretched out, her face tilted to the sky like she can’t soak up enough of the moonlight. I can’t soak up enough of her.
I stretch out beside her on my back and mimic her pose with my hands behind my head.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” she says. “Sometimes it’s nice to get away from everything. To turn off the phone. I don’t realize how being constantly connected and reachable makes my life feel loud until I shut it all off. I don’t do it often enough. This feels good.”
“You’re welcome out here any time you want. Just say the word.”
She rolls to her side, propping one arm under her head as she studies my face. “And you’ll come with me?”
My breath catches, and then I nod. “If you wanted me with you. But if you didn’t, that would be okay too.”
“Would it?” Her eyes dip to my mouth, and I’m grateful for the rising moon and the stars so I can still see her face, see the way her lips part, the way her eyes go darker. “You’re so good at being the noble guy, Levi. You wouldn’t share the bed with me at Jake’s, and now you’re telling me I can come to your special spot without you. You haven’t put your hands on me once, and meanwhile, I can hardly think about anything else. Not that I can blame you. Here I am, knocked up and afraid. A real catch.”
“Ellie . . .” I could tell her my self-control has nothing to do with her pregnancy. Or I could list all the reasons touching her would be a bad idea. Instead, I slide a hand into her hair and roll over her, resting my weight on my elbows. Slowly, I lower my mouth to hers. With lips that should speak sense and caution her against doing something she might regret, I kiss her.
I’ve been waiting two and a half years for this kiss—since the night we met at the fundraiser and I found out she was Colton’s girl. And it was worth every aching second of the wait. Her mouth is soft and slow to open under mine—not like she’s hesitating, but as if she’s savoring this every bit as much as I am.