I want to talk to her today. Right now. Hell, five years ago.
But maybe Tuesday is better. It might be a good idea to have this conversation without half a dozen prying ears listening in.
Me: Sure. What time works best for you?
Molly: Call me in the morning. I’ll be around.
Me: Great. Talk then.
I make myself push Tuesday’s problems from my mind and change into my swim trunks.
When I head back out to the kitchen, the cabin is bustling with the chaos of everyone getting ready for a day at the lake. Levi’s packing the cooler, Shay’s gathering towels, and Lilly is hopping around the house, wild in her excitement to get into the water. It’s in the mid-eighties today, nice weather for Memorial Day weekend in Michigan, but the water will still be cold. Most of the adults will spend their day sitting on the beach or cruising along our private lake in the family pontoon.
Days like these are my favorite, but right now I’m completely uninterested in the sunshine and the water. Next to me, Ava’s rubbing sunscreen into her skin in slow movements that aren’t helping me get this morning’s shower out of my mind. She reaches for the middle of her back.
“Here.” I take the bottle from her. “Let me get that.” I squeeze a dollop into my hand and rub it between her shoulder blades. She shivers—at the cool lotion or at my touch, I’m not sure.
“You guys about ready?” Shay asks.
“We should be in a minute,” Ava says.
I shake my head. “No. I forgot something.” I point my thumb to the bedroom. “I need to make another call before we go, but why don’t you guys head out and we’ll meet you down there?”
Nic and Mom beam at us, and Shay smirks. My brothers mind their own damn business for once.
When they’re all gone and the house is quiet, Ava turns to me. “What call do you have to make?”
“An important one.” I take her wrists in each of my hands and tug her toward me. “A really, really important one.”
She frowns. “So hurry and make it so we can join them.”
I cup her face in my hands and kiss her hard. This morning in the shower was too fucking good, and the way she’s looked at me since is everything. But mostly, I just can’t escape this horrible, rotting feeling I’ve had since Brayden said the words Noah McKinley, son, four years old.
I need to touch Ava. I feel like if I don’t do something and hold her close now, she’s going to slip away from me before I make sense of Molly’s secret, and I refuse to let that happen.
I slide my mouth over hers and flick my tongue across her lips.
“Jake,” she whispers.
I slide my fingertips into the front of her bikini. “Yes?”
She gasps. “What are you doing?”
“Are you still wet from thinking about the shower this morning?” I slide my hand down farther and find her slick. I groan, and her fingers curl into my shoulders.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m losing my mind. I can’t look at you in this bikini and be expected to keep my hands off you.”
She smiles. “You don’t have to keep your hands off. I’m your girlfriend.”
“Yes, but my niece is a little too young to see the ways I want to touch you, so your day in the sun will just have to wait.”
Her lips quirk into a smile. “I guess that’s okay.”
I take her hand and lead her toward the basement. “Do you remember when we were in college and you let me teach you how to play pool?”
“Yeah.”