“Don’t worry because you’ll never get near me again.” I lift my bag from the desk and sling it over my shoulder. “We’re done, Sam. I can’t fucking look at you. You make me sick.”
She hops up to her feet attempting to hold my hand. I step back to create space between us. We went from our highest high to our lowest low in a matter of minutes. She’s not the person I thought she was. It’s like dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, two completely different personalities merged into one person.
“Tucker, please,” Sam whimpers, sniffing back the tears. “I love you.”
“I can’t do this. Not anymore.” I turn away from her wishing the last twenty minutes never happened as I descend the stairs to the first floor.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Sam
Eden holds me against her chest rocking me as the tears slide down my cheeks. I haven’t stopped crying. Hours have passed with us in the same position. She leans against the wall to support our weight, and I move with her, gripping the comforter between my fingers.
I’ve never loved anyone before Tucker, never understood the pain that comes from heartbreak. I feel as though my heart is cracked into pieces, splitting open with each sob that escapes my lips. My chest hurts from crying. I’ve rubbed my eyes raw from blotting the tears.
But I brought this upon myself.
I should have told Tucker when I had the chance. Because there were plenty of times to reveal the truth to him.
“He called me trash,” I mutter, my voice muffled by tears.
I’ve replayed the same thing repeatedly for the last hour. It was the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.
“You’re not trash, Sam.” Eden cradles my head and shushes me. “Just let it all out. Forget about what he said. He’ll get over it.”
“He hates me,” I whine. “He’s never going to talk to me. And how can I blame him?”
“His career wasn’t damaged by The Queen. He didn’t get expelled. None of his friends got in trouble for anything in those posts. He can’t be mad forever. If he really loves you, he will forgive you.”
“I doubt it,” I shoot back. “You should have seen the look in his eyes.”
“Give him some time. What would you do if you found out he did the same thing to you?”
I rub beneath my eyes and lean back against the wall next to Eden. “I would be pissed.”
“Would you stop talking to him?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Probably.”
“You love him.”
“I do.”
“So, you would forgive him at some point.” She flashes a closed-mouth smile. “Tucker will, too. But give him space.”
“I only called him once.”
“And sent him five text messages.”
I sigh and slump against the wall. “Okay, I see your point. I’m a total loser who’s chasing after a man who doesn’t want her.”
She chuckles. “No, that’s not what I said at all.”
“It’s how I feel.”
“Just calm down.” Eden sits in the center of the bed crossing one leg over the other. She holds out her palm to me, and I place my hand in hers. “Everything will be okay. Now, take a deep breath and let it out.”
I do as she says, instantly feeling better with each breath I take. Eden always centers me when I’m lost and in need of her help. Whenever I had a panic attack freshman year, she knew how to soothe me. I was a mess when I first came to Strickland University. The financial stress was killing me. So was supporting my father.
Not until Eden helped me heal was I able to focus and clear my head. She gets me. No one has ever understood me the way she does. Without her, some days I would be completely lost.
“What if I out myself?”
Eden shoots me a worried glance. “No, don’t even think about it. Telling everyone on campus that you’ve been spying on them… that we’ve been spying on them… is not going to make this go away.”
“What else can I do to make it right?”
“Nothing,” she hisses. “Time and space are your friend. Let Tucker figure out how he feels about you before you do something stupid and ruin your life.”
“I wouldn’t implicate you,” I assure her.
“I don’t care about that. You will become a social pariah if you admit to feeding info to The Queen. We have one month until graduation. If Tucker never forgives you, then at least you can walk away next month and never have to deal with him again.”
“But he’s my student. I’ll see him in class on Monday.”
“You can make it four weeks. Don’t pay attention to him. Focus on the other students in the class.”
“I hope I don’t lose my job over this.”
“Professor Frazier won’t find out, not unless Tucker decides to be a total tool and rat on you.”
“Tucker wouldn’t do that to me. He knows how much I need the money.”