“That’s a bunch of bullshit and we all know it. She was as serious about you as I am about her. And Josh is just fucking like you. Just—fuck.” I push back from the table, pull my wallet out of my back pocket and drop some money on the table. “Look, I’ve got to get out of here. I’ve got to—”
“Wait,” Ash says, scrambling to his feet. “We’ll go with you. Just let me get the check.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m cool.” I give him the closest thing to a smile I can muster, but judging from the look on his face, it isn’t very fucking close. That’s too bad, because it’s all I’ve got in me, right now.
I head for the door, giving them a little wave as I go. I’m almost to my car when Z catches up to me, grabs my arm. Fuck. I try to shake him off. He’s my best friend, and I love him like a brother, but I can’t fucking take this. Not now. And not from him.
“You’ve got it wrong,” he tells me, expression all pained and intense. “It was never like that between Cam and me—”
“Because you’d never let it be. That doesn’t mean she isn’t in love with you.”
“She had a crush on me—”
“She was in love with you. She’s still in love with you. And Josh Greene—he isn’t you, not by a long shot. But he’s the closest fucking thing around, isn’t he?”
“She’s got you. She doesn’t need me—and she sure as shit doesn’t need Josh fucking Greene.”
“Yeah, well, too bad she doesn’t see it like that.” I open the door to my Range Rover, climb in.
“You don’t know how she sees it. You’ve never asked her. And you’ve never told her how you feel. How is she supposed to know if you never talk to the girl?”
“Oh, I’ve told her,” I tell him grimly.
“Oh, yeah?” For the first time he looks surprised. “What’d she say?”
“She snuck out of my house in the middle of the night and then didn’t talk to me for weeks. I’m not sure how much clearer she could have been.”
“I don’t believe it. Cam is crazy about you—”
“Yeah, you keep on believing that. But I’m done.” I slam the car door in his face, turn the key. I back out of the spot, and drive around first Z, who hasn’t moved, and then Ash, who has just darted out of the restaurant.
Fuck.
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.
Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
Bad enough I had to put up with her being in love with Z. Now it’s Josh Greene? Josh fucking Greene? Just the idea of it makes me lose my fucking mind.
I’m not surprised, though, not the way Z and Ash are. I saw them together last night. I saw the way he was holding her, the way she was looking at him when she thought no one was paying attention.
And I fucked her anyway—which totally makes me the pathetic loser in this situation, especially when I got up early, after almost no sleep, just to run out and buy her bagels.
The light I’m stopped at turns green and I’m so lost in thought that the guy behind me has to lean on his horn before I realize I’m supposed to go. Too bad I don’t have a clue where I’m supposed to go. Normally, I’d go home, but that’s out of the question right now. And since I don’t want to see Z or Ash either, I’m pretty much screwed.
Except I’m at the main intersection for my parent’s house, only a few miles away from where I grew up. It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve been by to check on it. I could do that now, and kill two birds with one stone.
When you’re not cruising between the resorts, Park City is a small place, so it’s only about five minutes before I’m pulling into the driveway. The place looks good—but then it always does. My mother wouldn’t have it any other way, even when she’s thousands of miles away in New York City.
It’s why I have to stop by regularly, even though she has a gardener and a pool service and even a housekeeping service to come in once a week and clean; even though nobody lives here anymore—and nobody has since I was a junior in high school.
This is another thing that drives my mom crazy—and gives her ammunition to harangue me with during every phone conversation.
Why did you need to buy a condo less than two miles away when you have a perfectly good house right here that you could live in?
It doesn’t make sense, Luc. You know your snowboarding career isn’t going to last much longer. You’re lucky to have that endorsement money. You should save it instead of spending it on things you don’t need.
I know you’ve always been reckless, but you need to start thinking about your future. Even if you don’t get hurt, your name isn’t the biggest or the brightest in winter sports. You need to save for a rainy day.