She nods.
All around us, people are laying garlands around the shrine or singing or praying.
“Do you have to make an offering?” I ask. “To get your obstacles removed?”
“You can,” she replies. “Or just chant a mantra.”
“What mantra?”
“There are several.” Yael doesn’t say anything else for a while. And then, in a low and clear voice, she chants: “Om gam ganapatayae namaha.” She gives me a look, like that’s enough of that.
“What does it mean?”
She cocks her head. “Roughly I’ve heard it translated as: ‘Wake up.’”
“Wake up?”
She looks at me for a second, and though we have the same eyes, I really have no idea what she sees through hers.
“It’s not the translation that matters with a mantra. It’s the intention,” she says. “And this is what you say when you want a new beginning.”
After the temple, we hail a rickshaw. “Where to now?” I ask.
“We are meeting Mukesh for lunch.”
Mukesh? The travel agent who booked my flights?
We spend the next half hour in silence as we weave through more traffic and dodge more cows, finally arriving at a sort of dusty shopping center. As we’re paying the driver, a tall, broad, smiling man in a voluminous white shirt comes barreling out of a place called Outbound Travels.
“Willem!” he says, greeting me warmly, grasping both my hands. “Welcome.”
“Thank you,” I say, looking back and forth between him and Yael, who’s decidedly not looking at him, and I wonder what exactly is going on. Are they together? It would be just her way, introduce the idea of a boyfriend by not introducing him as her boyfriend and leaving me to figure it out.
Mukesh tells our driver to wait and then goes back into the travel agency to pick up a plastic bag, and then we climb back in and drive through fifteen more minutes of traffic to the restaurant.
“It’s middle eastern,” Mukesh says proudly. “Like Mummy.”
Mukesh pushes the menu aside and calls over the waiter, ordering platters of hummus and grape leaves, baba ghanoush and tabouli.
When the first platter of hummus arrives, Mukesh asks me how I’m liking Indian food so far.
I explain about the dosas and the pakoras I’ve been eating off the stands. “I still haven’t had a proper curry.”
“We will have to arrange that for you,” he says. “Which is why I’m here.” He reaches into the plastic bag and pulls out a number of glossy brochures. “You don’t have so much time here, so I suggest you pick one region—Rajasthan, Kerala, Uttar Pradesh—and explore that. I have taken the liberty of coming up with a few sample itineraries.” He slides me over a computer printout. One is for Rajasthan. It has everything. Return flights to Jaipur, transfers to Jodhpur, Udaipur and Jaisalmer. There’s even a camel trip. There’s a similar packed itinerary for Kerala, flights, transfers, river cruises.
I’m confused. “Are we taking a trip?” I ask Yael.
“Oh, no, no,” Mukesh answers for her. “Mummy has to work. This is a special trip for you, to make sure your time in India is tip-top.”
And then I understand the guilty look. Mukesh isn’t the boyfriend. He’s the travel agent. The one enlisted to bring me here. The one enlisted to send me away.
At least I know why I’m here. Not for new beginnings. A hasty invitation that was foolish to issue, foolish to accept—and most foolish of all to solicit.
“Which trip do you prefer?” Mukesh asks. He seems unaware of the thorny dynamic he’s stumbled into.
My anger feels hot and bilious but I keep it bottled until it doubles back and I’m mad at myself. What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
“This one,” I say, flicking the brochure on top of the pile. I don’t even look where it goes to. It hardly seems the point.