Unseen Academicals (Discworld 37) - Page 212

'Is zere anything special about zis cupboard, Mister Nutt?'

Another pause, another faint little voice: 'I must not open the cupboard.'

'Why is half of him talking like someone from Uberwald?' said Glenda to Trev, forgetting the notoriously acute sense of hearing.

'Questions asked in a mild Uberwaldian accent in examinations of zis nature appear to put ze patient more at ease,' said Nutt. 'And now I would be pleased if you would not make wiz ze interruptions.'

'Sorry,' said Glenda.

'Don't mention it. So, why must you not open ze cupboard, Mister Nutt?'

'Because I promised Ladyship that I would not open the cupboard.'

'And did you open ze cupboard, Mister Nutt?'

'I promised Ladyship that I would not open the cupboard.'

'And did you open ze cupboard, Mister Nutt?'

A much longer pause this time. 'I promised Ladyship that I would not open the cupboard.'

'Did you learn many things in ze castle, Mister Nutt?'

'Many things.'

'Did you learn how to make ze lockpicks, Mister Nutt?'

'Yes.'

'Where is ze door now, Mister Nutt?'

'It is in front of me.'

'You opened ze door, Mister Nutt. You think you did not, but you did. And now it is very important zat you open ze door again.'

'But what is inside the door is wrong!'

The two eavesdroppers craned to hear.

'Nothing is wronk. Nothing is wronk at all. In ze past, you opened ze door in the foolishness of chilthood. Now, to understand ze door, you must open it with ze wisdom of ze adult. Open ze door, Mister Nutt, and I will walk with you to it.'

'But I no longer have the lockpick.'

'Nature will provide, Mister Nutt.'

Glenda shivered. It had to be her imagination, but they didn't seem to be in the candle vats any more.

A corridor stretched in front of Nutt. He felt everything drop away from him. Chains, clothes, flesh, thoughts. All there was was the corridor and, drifting gently towards him, the cupboard. It was glass-fronted. Light glinted off the bevelled edges. He raised a hand and extended the claw. It cut through wood and glass as if they were air. There was one shelf in the cupboard and one book on the shelf. There was a title on it in silver and chains around it in steel. These were much easier to break through than last time as well. He sat down on a chair that had not been there until he sat down and he began to read the book. The book was called ORC.

When the scream came, it didn't come from Nutt, but from overhead in the tangle of pipes. A skinny woman in a long black robe, perhaps a witch, Glenda thought, shocked by the suddenness, dropped down on to the flagstones and looked around like a cat.

No, more like a bird, Glenda thought. Jerky.

And then it opened its mouth and screamed: 'Awk! Awk! Danger! Danger! Beware! Beware!' It made a lunge towards the couch, but Trev stepped in the way. 'Foolish! The orc will eat your eyes!'

And now this was a duet, because another of the creatures had slid down out of the gloom on what might have been a billowing cloak, or might have been wings. They never stopped moving, each in a different direction, trying to get closer to the couch.

'Do not be afraaaid,' squawked one of them, 'we are on your siiide. We are here to protect you.'

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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