Unseen Academicals (Discworld 37) - Page 87

'Er, yes.'

Glenda nodded, satisfied, another literary puzzle solved. 'Better not use the word "mature" unless you are talking about cheese or wine. Not good to use it for ladies.'

She stared at him, wondering how to pose the next question. She opted for directness; she wasn't very good at anything else.

'Trev is sure you sort of died and came alive again.'

'So I understand.'

'Not many people do that.'

'The vast majority do not, I believe.'

'How did you do it?'

'I don't know.'

'This is rather late in the day, I must admit, but you don't feel any hunger for blood or brains, do you?'

'Not at all. Just pies. I like pies. I am very ashamed about the pies. It will not happen again, Miss Glenda. I fear my body was acting on its own. It needed instant nourishment.'

'Trev says you used to be chained to an anvil?'

'Yes. That was because I was worthless. Then I was taken to see Ladyship and she told me: You are worthless but, I think, not unworthy, and I will give you worth.'

'But you must have had parents!'

'I do not know. There are many things I don't know. There is a door.'

'What?'

'A door in my head. Some things are behind the door and I don't know them. But that is all right, Ladyship says.'

Glenda felt like giving up. Nutt answered questions, yes, but really all you ended up with was more questions. But she persevered. It was like stabbing away at a tin can, hoping to find a way in. 'Ladyship is a real lady, is she? Castles and servants and whatnot?'

'Oh, yes. Even a whatnot. She is my friend. And she is mature like cheese and wine, because she has lived for a long time and is not old.'

'But she sent you here, yes? Did she teach you... whatever it was you used on Trev?'

Beside Glenda, Trev stirred.

'No,' said Nutt. 'I read the works of the masters in the library all by myself. But she did tell me that people, too, were a kind of living book, and I would have to learn to read them.'

'Well, you read Trev well enough. Be told, though: don't try that stuff on me or you'll never see another pie!'

'Yes, Miss Glenda. Sorry, Miss Glenda.'

She sighed. What is it about me? The moment they look downcast I feel sorry for them! She looked up. He was watching her.

'Stop that!'

'Sorry, Miss Glenda.'

'But you got to see the football, at least. Did you enjoy it?'

Nutt's face lit up. 'Yes. It was wonderful. The noise, the crowds, the chanting, oh the chanting! It becomes a second blood! The unison! To not be alone! To be not just one but one and all, of one mind and purpose!... excuse me.' He had seen her face.

'So you quite liked it, then,' said Glenda. The intensity of Nutt's outburst had been like opening an oven door. It was a mercy her hair hadn't frizzled.

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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