He stared at her. That was coppers for you. They came over all friendly, and just when you dropped your guard they stuck a pickaxe in your brain.
'Was that an official copper question, or were you just bein' nosy?'
'Coppers are never nosy, Mister Likely. However, sometimes we ask tangential questions.'
'So it wasn't official?'
'Not really... '
'Then shove it where the sun does not shine.'
Sergant Angua smiled a copper's smile. 'You've got no card in your hand that you dare play, and you come out with something like that. From Andy, yes, I'd expect it, but Kipper says you're smart. How smart does someone have to be to be as stupid as you?'
There was a tentative knock at the door and then a watchman put his head around it. Someone was shouting in the background in a large, authoritative voice. ' - I mean, you deal with this sort of thing all the time, don't you? For heavens' sake, it's not that hard - '
'Yes, Nobby?'
'We've got a bit of a situation, sarge. That stiff that went to the Lady Sibyl? Doctor Lawn's here and he says the man's got up and gone home!'
'Did they get an Igor to look at him?'
'Yes. Sort of... er... '
The watchman was elbowed out of the way by an expansive man in a long green rubber robe who was clearly trying to balance angry and friendly at the same time. He was tailed by Constable Haddock, who was clearly trying to mollify him, and definitely failing.
'Look, we try to help, all right?' said Doctor Lawn. 'You people say you've got a murder case and I'll pull old Igor off his slab and hang the overtime. But you tell Sam Vimes from me that I'd like him to send his boys down when they're not busy for a bit of first-aid tuition, to wit, the difference between dead and sleeping. It's a fine line sometimes, but it's generally possible to spot the clues. The profession has always tended to consider walking about to be among the more reliable, although in this city we've learned to look on that as just a very good start. But when we pulled back the sheet he sat up and asked Igor if he had a sandwich, which is generally conclusive. Apart from a fever, he was fine. Strong heartbeat, which suggests he's got one. Not a scratch on him, but he could certainly do with a good dinner. He must have been hungry because he ate the sandwich Igor made for him. On the subject of dinners, frankly I could do with mine!'
'You let him go?' said Sergeant Angua, horrified.
'Of course! I can't keep a man in hospital for being inconveniently alive!'
She turned to Constable Haddock. 'And you let him go, Kipper?'
'It looked like a case of doctor's orders, sarge,' said Haddock, giving Trev a wretched look.
'He was covered in blood! He was really messed up!' Trev exploded.
'A prank, then?' Angua tried.
'I'd have sworn there wasn't a heartbeat, Sergeant,' Haddock volunteered. 'Maybe he's one of those monks from the Hub that do the hocus-pocus stuff.'
'Then someone has been wasting Watch time,' said Angua, glaring at Trev.
He spotted that one for the desperate throw it was. 'What would be in it for me?' he said. 'Do you think I want to be here?'
Constable Haddock cleared his throat. 'It's match night, sarge. The desk is heaving and there are supporters roaming around all over the place and someone's been feeding them a lot of rumours. We're stretched, that's all I'm saying. We've had a couple of big shouts already. And he did walk away, after all.'
'Not a problem for me,' said the doctor. 'Came in horizontal, went out upright. It's the preferred way. And I've got to get back, sergeant. We're going to have a busy night, too.'
The sergeant looked for someone to shout at, and there was Trev.
'You! Trev Likely. This one's down to you! Go and find your chum. And if there's any more trouble, there'll be... trouble. Is that clear?'
'Twice, sarge.' He couldn't resist it, he just couldn't, not even with the cold sweat rolling down his spine. But he felt light... uplifted... released. But some people just can't respect an epiphany when you're having one. It's not a cop skill.
'It's sergeant to you, Likely! Here!'
Trev managed to catch the favour as it was skimmed across the room.