Making Money (Discworld 36) - Page 141

'Anyone looking at the label sees it in their native tongue,' said Ponder wearily. 'The markings apparently indicate that it did indeed come from the city of Um, according to the late Professor Head.'

'Um?' said Moist. 'Um what? They weren't sure what to call the place?'

'Just Um,' said Ponder. 'Very ancient. About sixty thousand years, I believe. Back in the Clay Age.'

'The first golem-makers,' said Adora Belle. She unslung the bag and started to rummage in the straw.

Moist tapped the foot. It seemed eggshell thin.

'It's some sort of ceramic,' said Ponder. 'No one knows how they made it. The Umnians even baked boats out of the stuff.'

'Did they work?'

'Up to a point,' said Ponder. 'Anyway, the city was totally destroyed in the first war with the ice giants. There's nothing there now. We think that the foot was put in the Cabinet a long time ago.'

'Or will be dug up some time in the future, perhaps?' said Moist.

'That could very well be the case,' said Ponder gravely.

'In which case, won't that be a bit of a problem? I mean, can it be in the ground and in the Cabinet at the same time?'

'That, Mr Lipwig, is - '

'The wrong type of question?'

'Yes. The box exists in ten or possibly eleven dimensions. Practically anything may be possible.'

'Why only eleven dimensions?'

'We don't know,' said Ponder. 'It might be simply that more would be silly.'

'Can you take the foot out, please?' said Adora Belle, who was now brushing wisps of straw off a long package.

Ponder nodded, lifted out the relic with great care, and placed it gently on the bench behind them.

'What would have happened if you had drop - ' Moist began.

'Wrong type of question, Mr Lipwig!'

Adora Belle put the bundle down beside the foot and unwrapped it with care. It contained a part of a golem's arm, two feet long.

'I knew it! The markings are the same!' she said. 'And there's a lot more on my piece. Can you translate it?'

'Me? No,' said Ponder. 'The Arts are not my field,' he added, in a way that suggested his was a pretty superior field with much better flowers in it. 'You need Professor Flead.'

'You mean the one who's dead?' said Moist.

'He's dead at the moment, but I'm sure that in the interests of discretion my colleague Dr Hicks can arrange for the professor to talk to you after lunch.'

'When he'll be less dead?' said Moist.

'When Dr Hicks has had lunch,' said Ponder patiently. 'The Professor will be pleased to receive visitors, er, especially Miss Dearheart. He is the world expert on Umnian. Every word has hundreds of meanings, I understand.'

'Can I take the Foot?' said Adora Belle.

'No,' said Ponder. 'It's ours.'

'That was the wrong type of answer,' said Adora Belle, picking up the Foot. 'On behalf of the Golem Trust, I am acquiring this golem. If you can prove ownership, we will pay you a fair price for it.'

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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