"Oh yes, sir." Carrot coughed. Vimes recognized that particular cough. It meant that bad news was on the captain"s mind and he was wondering how to shape it to fit the available not-goingtotally-spare space in Vimes"s head.
"Out with it, captain."
"Er, this little chap turned up," said Carrot, opening his hand. The Gooseberry imp sat up.
"I ran all the way, Insert Name Here," it said proudly.
"We spotted it jogging along the gutter," said Carrot. "It wasn"t hard to see, glowing pale green like that."
Vimes pulled the Gooseberry box out of his pocket and put it on the floor. The imp climbed inside.
"Ooh, that feels so good," it said. "Don"t talk to me about rats and cats!"
"They chased you? But you"re a magical creature, aren"t you?" said Vimes.
"They don"t know that!" said the imp. "Now, what was it ... Oh,
yes. You asked me about the night-soil removal. Over the past three
months the extra honey-wagon load has averaged forty tons a
night."
"Forty tons? That"d fill a big room! Why didn"t we know about it?" "You did, Insert Name Here!" said the imp. "But they were leaving
from every gate, you see, and probably no guard ever spotted more
than one or two extra carts."
"Yes, but they turned in reports every night! Why didn"t we spot
it?"
There was an awkward pause. The imp coughed. "Um, no one
reads the reports, Insert Name Here. They appear to be what we in
the trade call write-only documents."
"Wasn"t anyone supposed to be reading them?" Vimes demanded. There was another thundering silence.
"I rather think you were, dear," said Sybil, paying attention to her
darning.
"But I"m in charge!" Vimes protested. "Yes, dear. That"s the point, really.,
"But I can"t spend all my time shuffling bits of paper!" "Then get someone else to do it, dear," said Sybil. "Can I do that?" said Vimes. "Yes, sir," said Carrot. "You"re in charge."
Vimes looked at the imp, which gave him a willing grin. "Can you go through all of my in-tray-" ". floor.. :murmured Sybil. "-and tell me what"s important?"
"Happy to, Insert Name Here! Only one question, Insert Name
Here. What is important?"
"Well, the fact that the dunnikin divers are carting a whole lot
more muck out of the city is pretty damn important, don"t you