"It"s still news, commander," said Otto meekly.
Vimes glared at the crowd again. It was mostly human. There was one troll, although admittedly the troll had probably joined in on general principles, simply because something was happening. A vampire would need a masonry drill and a lot of patience before it could put a troll to any trouble. Still, there was one good thing, if
you could call it that: this little sideshow took people"s minds off Koom Valley.
"It"s strange that they don"t seem to mind you, Otto," he said, calming down a little.
"yell, I"m not official," said Otto. "I do not haf zer sword and zer badge. I do not threaten. I am just a vorking stiff. And I make zem laff."
Vimes stared at the man. He"d never thought about that before. But yes ... Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, his shiny black shoes, his carefully cut widow"s peak and, not least, his ridiculous accent that grew thicker or thinner depending on who he was talking to, did not look like a threat. He looked funny, a joke, a music-hall vampire. It had never previously occurred to Vimes that, just possibly, the joke was on other people. Make them laugh, and they"re not afraid.
He nodded to Otto and went inside, where Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom was standing - on a box - at the too high duty officer"s desk, her chevrons all shiny and new on her sleeve. Vimes made a mental note to do something about the box. Some of the dwarf officers were getting sensitive about having to use it.
"I think we could do with a couple of lads standing outside, Cheery," he said. "Nothing provocative, just a little reminder to people that we keep the peace."
"I don"t think we"ll need that, Mister Vimes," said the dwarf.
"I"m not interested in seeing a picture in the Times showing the Watch"s first vampire recruit being mobbed by protesters, corpsergeant," said Vimes severely.
"I thought you wouldn"t be, sir," said Cheery. "So I asked Sergeant Angua to fetch her. They came in the back way half an hour ago. She"s showing her the building. I think they"re down in the locker
room."
"You asked Angua to do it?" said Vimes, his heart sinking. "Yessir?" said Cheery, suddenly looking worried. "Er ... is there a problem?"
Vimes stared at her. She"s a good orderly officer, he thought. I wish I had two more like her. And she deserved the promotion, heavens know, but, he reminded himself, she"s from Uberwald, isn"t she? She should have remembered about the ... thing between them and werewolves. Maybe it"s my fault. I tell "em that all coppers are just coppers.
"What? Oh, no," he said. "Probably not."
A vampire and a werewolf in one room, he thought, as he headed on up the stairs to his office. Well, they"ll just have to deal with it. And that"ll be only the first of our problems.
"And I took Mr Pessimal up to the interview room," Cheery called after him.
Vimes stopped mid-stair.
"Pessimal?" he said.
"The government inspector, sir?" said Cheery. "The one you told me about?"
Oh yes, thought Vimes. The second of our problems.
It was politics. Vimes could never get a handle on politics, which was full of traps for honest men. This one had been sprung last week, in Lord Vetinari"s office, at the normal daily meeting ...
"Ah, Vimes," said his lordship as Vimes entered. "So kind of you to
come. Isn"t it a beautiful day?"
Up until now, Vimes thought, when he spotted the two other
people in the room.
"You wanted me, sir?" he said, turning to Vetinari again. "There"s a Silicon Anti-Defamation League march in Water Street and I"ve got traffic backed up all the way to Least Gate-"
"I"m sure it can wait, commander.
"Yes, sir. That"s the trouble, sir. That"s what it"s doing."
Vetinari waved a languid hand. "But full carts congesting the street, Vimes, is a sign of progress," he declared.