'No, sir. Too long for Dick and too short for Richard, sir,' said Vimes, focusing on a point a few inches above Rust's head. 'What?'
'Neither one thing nor t'other, sir.'
'Oh, so you'd like to be a captain, eh?' said Rust, grinning evilly. 'Nosir. Don't want to be an officer, sir. Get confused when I see more'n one knife and fork on the table, sir.'
'You certainly don't look like officer material to me, sergeant.'
'Nosir. Thank you, sir.' Good old Rust. Good young Rust. The same unthinking rudeness masquerading as blunt speaking, the same stiff- neckedness, the same petty malice. Any sergeant worth his salt would see how to make use of that. 'Wouldn't mind transferring to the Particulars though, sir,' he volunteered. It was a bit of a gamble, but not much. Rust's mind was reliable. 'I expect you would like that, Keel,' said Rust. 'No doubt you ran rings round that old fool Tilden and don't fancy the idea of a captain with his finger on the pulse, eh? No, you can damn well stay here, understand?' Wonderful, thought Vimes. Sometimes it's like watching a wasp land on a stinging nettle: someone's going to get stung and you don't care. 'Yessir,' he said, eye still staring straight ahead. 'Have you shaved today, man?'
Soon Shine Sun,' said Mr Soon. He grabbed the suit Vimes was still holding. 'Good eye, good eye, lovely cloth, lovely cloth, owned by priest, very good, fifty pence to you, shame to sell it, times are hard.' Vimes hastily put the suit back on the rack and pulled out his badge. Soon glared at it.
'I pay already other copper,' he said. 'One dollar, one month, no trouble. Already I pay other copper.'
'Pay?' said Vimes. "Two-stripe copper already I pay. One dollar, one month, no trouble!'
'Corporal Quirke,' muttered Vimes. 'You don't have to pay coppers, Mr Soon. We're here for your protection.' Despite his barely basic grasp of the language, Mr Soon's expression suggested very clearly that the three-stripe, one-crown copper in front of him had dropped in from the planet Idiot. 'Look, I haven't got time for this,' said Vimes. 'Where's the back door? This is Watch business!'
'I pay! I pay protection! One month, no trouble!' Vimes grunted and set off along another narrow, cloth-lined tunnel. A glint of glass caught his eye, and he sidled crabwise up a choked aisle until he found a counter. It was piled with more hopeless merchandise, but there was a bead-curtained doorway behind it. He half clambered, half swam over the piles and scrambled into the tiny room beyond. Mr Soon pushed his way to an ancient tailor's dummy; it was so scratched, chipped and battered it looked like something dug up from the volcanic ash of an ancient city. He pulled on an arm, and the eyes lit up. 'Number Three here,' he said, into its ear. 'He's just gone through. And, boy, is he angry The back door was locked but yielded under the weight of Vimes's body. He staggered into the yard, looked up at the wall separating this greasy space from the temple's garden, jumped, scrabbled his boots on the brickwork and dragged himself on to the top, feeling a couple of bricks crumble away underneath him. He landed on his back, and looked up at a thin, robed figure sitting on a stone seat. 'Cup of tea, commander?' said Sweeper cheerfully. 'I don't want any damn tea!' shouted Vimes, struggling to his feet. Sweeper dropped a lump of rancid yak butter in the tea bowl beside him. 'What do you want, then, Mister Vimes with the very helpful feet?'
'I can't deal with this! You know what I mean!'
'You know, some tea really would calm you down,' said Sweeper. 'Don't tell me to be calm! When are you going to get me home?'
A figure stepped out of the temple. He was a taller, heavier man than Sweeper, white-haired and with the look of a good-natured bank manager about him. He held out a cup. Vimes hesitated a moment, and then took the cup and poured the tea out on to the ground. 'I don't trust you,' he said. There could be anything in this.'
'I can't imagine what we could put in tea that would make it any worse than the way you normally drink it,' said Sweeper calmly. 'Sit down, your grace. Please?' Vimes sagged on to the seat. The rage that had been driving him sank a little, too, but he could feel it bubbling. Automatically, he pulled out a half-smoked cigar and put it in his mouth. 'Sweeper said you'd find us, some way or other,' said the other monk, and sighed. 'So much for secrecy.'
'Why should you worry?' said Vimes, lighting the stub. 'You can just play around with time and it won't have happened, right?'
'We don't intend to do that,' said the other monk. 'What could I do, anyway? Go around telling everyone that those loony monks you see in the streets are some kind of time shifters? I'd get locked up! Who are you, anyway?'
'This is Qu,' said Sweeper, nodding at the other monk. 'When the time comes, he'll get you back. But not yet.' Vimes sighed. The anger had drained, leaving only a hopeless, empty feeling. He stared blankly at the strange rockery that occupied most of the garden. It looked oddly familiar. He blinked. 'I've been talking to people today who are going to die,' he said. 'How do you think that makes me feel? Do you know what that feels like?' The monks gave him a puzzled look. 'Er . . . yes,' said Qu. 'We do,' said Sweeper. 'Everyone we talk to is going to die. Everyone you talk to is going to die. Everyone dies.'
'I've been changing things,' said Vimes, and added defensively: 'Well, why shouldn't I? Carcer is! I have no idea how things are going to turn out! I mean, doesn't it change history even if you just tread on an ant?'
'For the ant, certainly,' said Qu. Sweeper waved a hand. 'I told you, Mister Vimes. History finds a way. It's like a shipwreck. You're swimming to the shore. The waves will break whatever you do. Is it not written: “The big sea does not care which way the little fishes swim”? People die in their due time-'
'Keel didn't! Carcer mugged the poor devil!'
'His due time in this present, commander,' said Qu. 'But he will play his part in the other one, Mister Vimes. Eventually. You'll reach the shore. You must. Otherwise-'
'-there's no shore,' said Sweeper. 'No,' said Vimes. 'There's got to be more. I'm not swimming, I'm drowning. It was fun, d'you know? At first? Like a boys' night out? Feeling the street under my boots again? But now . . . what about Sybil? Are my memories real? What I know is she's a girl living with her dad. Is there somewhere where she's my wife, having my child? I mean, really? Is it all in my mind? Can you prove it? Is it happening? Will it happen? What is real?' The monks were silent. Sweeper glanced at Qu, who shrugged. He glanced rather more meaningfully and, this time, Qu made that dismissive little wave of the hand which is someone signifying 'all right, all right, against my better judgement ..." Then Sweeper said: 'Ye-es,' very slowly. 'Yes, I think we can help, commander. You want to know there's a future waiting. You want to hold it in your hand. You want to feel the weight of it. You want one point to navigate by, one point to steer for. Yes. I think we can help you there . . . but . . .'
'Yes?'
'But you climb back over that wall and Sergeant Keel plays his part. He sees it through to the end. He gives the orders he feels are right and they will be the right orders. He holds the line. He does the job.'
'He's not the only one,' said Vimes. 'Yes, Commander Vimes has a job in hand, too.'
'Don't worry, I'm not leaving Carcer behind,' growled Vimes. 'Good. We'll be in touch.' Vimes tossed the stump of his cigar aside, and looked up at the wall. 'All right,' he said. 'I'll see it through. But when the time comes-'
'We will be ready,' said Sweeper. 'Just so long as you-' He stopped. There was another subtle sound, scaly in its way, a sort of silicon slither. 'My goodness,' said Qu. Vimes looked down. The cigar butt still smouldered. But around it the Garden of Inner City Tranquillity was moving, pebble sliding over tiny pebble. A large, water- rounded rock floated gently around, spinning. And then Vimes became aware that the whole garden was spinning, turning on the little wisp of smoke. A spent match sailed past, rolling from stone to stone like a scrap of food passed from ant to ant.
'Is it meant to do that?' he said. 'In theory, yes,' said Sweeper. 'I should leave right now, Mister Vimes.' Vimes took one last look at the moving garden, shrugged, and then heaved himself over the wall. The two monks stared. The tide of little stones was gently pushing the stub into the centre. 'Astonishing,' said Qu. 'He's part of the pattern now. I don't know how you manage it.'
'I'm not doing it,' said Sweeper. 'Qu, can we-'
'No more time shifting,' said Qu. 'It's caused enough trouble.'