'What's going on, Mr Dibbler?' said Carrot.
'Oh, hello, cap'n. They've got a golem.'
'Who have?'
'Oh, some blokes. They've just fetched the hammers.'
There was a press of bodies in front of Carrot. He put both hands together and rammed them between a couple of people, and then moved them apart. Grunting and struggling, the crowd opened up like a watercourse in front of the better class of prophet.
Dorfl was standing at bay at the end of the alley. Three men with hammers were approaching the golem cautiously, in the way of mobs, each unwilling to strike the first blow in case the second blow came right back at him.
The golem was crouching back, shielding itself with its slate on which was written:
I AM WORTH 530 DOLLARS.
'Money?' said one of the men. That's all you things think about!'
The slate shattered under a blow.
Then he tried to raise his hammer again. When it didn't budge he very nearly somersaulted backwards.
'Money is all you can think about when all you have is a price,' said Carrot calmly, twisting the hammer out of his grip. 'What do you think you're doing, my friend?'
'You can't stop us!' mumbled the man. 'Everyone knows they're not alive!'
'But I can arrest you for wilful damage to property,' said Carrot.
'One of these killed that old priest!'
'Sorry?' said Carrot. 'If it's just a thing, how can it commit murder? A sword is a thing' - he drew his own sword; it made an almost silken sound- 'and of course you couldn't possibly blame a sword if someone thrust it at you, sir.'
The man went cross-eyed as he tried to focus on the sword.
And, again, Angua felt that touch of bewilderment. Carrot wasn't threatening the man. He wasn't threatening the man. He was merely using the sword to demonstrate a ... well, a point. And that was all. He'd be quite amazed to hear that not everyone would think of it like that.
Part of her said: Someone has to be very complex indeed to be as simple as Carrot.
The man swallowed.
'Good point,' he said.
'Yeah, but... you can't trust 'em,' said one of the other hammer-bearers. They sneak around and they never say anything. What are they up to, eh?'
He gave Dorfl a kick. The golem rocked slightly.
'Well, now,' said Carrot. 'That is what I am finding out. In the meantime, I must ask you to go about your business...'
The third demolition man had only recently arrived in the city and had gone along with the idea because there are some people who do.
He raised his hammer defiantly and opened his mouth to say, 'Oh, yeah?' but stopped, becausejust by his ear he heard a growl. It was quite low and soft, but it had a complex little waveform which went straight down into a little knobbly bit in his spinal column where it pressed an ancient button marked Primal Terror.
He turned. An attractive watchwoman behind him gave him a friendly smile. That was to say, her mouth turned up at the corners and all her teeth were visible.
He dropped the hammer on his foot.
'Well done,' said Carrot. 'I've always said you can do more with a kind word and a smile.'
The crowd looked at him with the kind of expression people always wore when they looked at Carrot. It was the face-cracking realization that he really did believe what he was saying. The sheer enormity tended to leave people breathless.