'We're being invited to all sorts of things,' said Sacharissa, looking up from her paperwork. 'Well, I say invited... Lady Selachii has ordered us to attend her ball on Thursday next week and write at least 500 words which we will of course let her see before publication.'
'Good idea,' Goodmountain called over his shoulder. 'Lots of names at balls, and--'
'--names sell newspapers,' said William. 'Yes. I know. Do you want to go?'
'Me? I haven't got anything to wear!' said Sacharissa. 'It'd cost forty dollars for the kind of dress you wear to that sort of thing. And we can't afford that kind of money.'
William hesitated. Then he said: 'Stand up and twirl around, could you?'
She actually blushed. 'Whatever for?'
'I want to see what size you are... you know, all over.'
She stood up and turned around nervously. There was a chorus of whistles from the crew and a number of untranslatable comments in dwarfish.
'You're pretty close,' said William. 'If I could get you a really good dress, could you find someone to make any adjustments you need? It might have to be let out a bit in the, in the, you know... in the top.'
'What kind of dress?' she said suspiciously.
'My sister's got hundreds of evening dresses and she spends all her time at our place in the country,'' said William. The family never comes back to the city these days. I'll give you the key to the town house this evening and you can go and help yourself.'
'Won't she mind?' „
'She'll probably never notice. Anyway,* think she'd be shocked
to find that anyone could spend as little as forty dollars on a dress. Don't worry about it.'
Town house? Place in the country?' said Sacharissa, displaying an inconveniently journalistic trait of picking on the words you hoped wouldn't be noticed.
'My family's rich,' said William. 'I'm not.'
He glanced at the rooftop opposite when he stepped outside, because something in its outline was different, and saw a spiky head outlined against the afternoon sky.
It was a gargoyle. William had got used to seeing them everywhere in the city. Sometimes one would stay in the same place for months at a time. You seldom saw them actually moving from one roof to another. But you also seldom saw them at all in districts like this. Gargoyles liked high stone buildings with lots of gutters and fiddly architecture, which attracted pigeons. Even gargoyles have to eat.
There was also something going on further down the street. Several large carts were outside one of the old warehouses, and crates were being carried inside.
He spotted several more gargoyles on the way across the bridge to Pseudopolis Yard. Every single one of them turned its head to watch him.
Sergeant Detritus was on duty at the desk. He looked at William in surprise.
'By damn, dat was quick. You run all der way?' he said.
'What are you talking about?'
'Mister Vimes only sent for you a coupla minutes ago,' said Detritus. 'Go on up, I should. Don't worry, he's stopped shoutin',' He gave William a rather-you-than-me look. 'But he are not glad about being in a tent, as dey say.'
'Has he ever been a happy camper?'
'Not much,' said Detritus, grinning evilly.
William climbed the stairs and knocked at the door, which swung open.
Commander Vimes looked up from his desk. His eyes narrowed.
'Well, well, that was quick,' he said. 'Ran all the way, did you?'
'No, sir, I was coming here hoping to ask you some questions.'