The Truth (Discworld 25) - Page 96

'It's in the paper,' said Mr Mackleduff, in the quiet voice of someone laying down an ace.

'It was a very strange obituary that you read out, too,' said Mrs Arcanum. William nodded silently over his boiled egg. I'm sure it's not usual to talk about the things someone's done since they died.'

Mr Longshaft, who was a dwarf and something in the jewellery business, helped himself to another slice of toast.

'I suppose it takes all sorts,' he said calmly.

The city is getting rather crowded, though,' said Mr Windling, who had some unspecified clerical job. 'Still, at least zombies are human. No offence meant, of course.'

Mr Longshaft smiled faintly as he buttered the toast, and William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offence meant'. Maybe it was because they found it easier to say 'no offence meant' than actually refrain from giving offence.

'Well, I suppose we have to move with the times,' said Mrs Arcanum. 'And I hope that other poor man finds his watch.'

In fact Mr Harry was waiting outside the office when William arrived. He grabbed William's hand and shook it.

'Amazing, sir, amazing!' he said. 'How did you do it? It must be magic! You put that notice in your paper and when I got home, blow me down if the watch wasn't in my other jacket! Gods bless your paper, say I!'

Inside, Goodmountain gave William the news. The Times had sold eight hundred copies so far today. At five pence each, William's share came to sixteen dollars. In pennies, it came to quite a large heap on the desk.

This is insane,' said William. 'All we did was write things down!'

'There is a bit of a problem, lad,' said Goodmountain. 'Are you going to want to do another one for tomorrow?'

'Good gods, I hope not!'

'Well, I've got a story for you,' said the dwarf glumly. 'I hear the Guild of Engravers are already setting up their own press. They've got a lot of money behind 'em, too. They could put us right out of business when it comes to general printing,'

'Can they do that?'

'Of course. They use presses anyway. Type isn't hard to make, especially when you've got a lot of engravers. They can do really good work. To be honest, we didn't reckon they'd cotton on this soon,'

'I'm amazed!'

'Well, younger members of the Guild have seen the work coming out of Omnia and the Agatean Empire. Turns out they've been looking for a chance like this. I hear there was a special meeting last night. A few changes of officers.'

'That must have been worth seeing.'

'So if you could keep your paper going...' said the dwarf.

'I don't want all this money!' William wailed. 'Money causes problems!'

'We could sell the Times cheaper,' said Sacharissa, giving him an odd look.

'We'd only make more money,' said William gloomily.

'We could... we could pay the street vendors more,' said Sacharissa.

'Tricky,' said Goodmountain. 'A body can only take so much turpentine.'

'Then we could at least make sure they get a good breakfast,' said Sacharissa. 'A big stew with named meat, perhaps.'

'But I'm not even sure there is enough news to fill a--' William began, and stopped. That wasn't the way it worked, was it? If it was in the paper, it was news. If it was news it went in the paper, and if it was in the paper it was news. And it was the truth.

He remembered the breakfast table. They' wouldn't let 'them' put it in the paper if it wasn't true, would they?

William wasn't a very political person. But he found himself using unfamiliar mental muscles when he thought about 'they'. Some of them had to do with memory.

'We could employ more people to help us get the news,' said Sacharissa. 'And what about news from other places? Pseudopolis and Quirm? We just have to talk to passengers getting off the coaches--'

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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