The Fifth Elephant (Discworld 24) - Page 198

"Big fireplace they had."

"Werewolves like to sleep in front of the fire at night, sir," said Cheery.

"The Baron certainly didn"t seem comfortable in a chair, I spotted that. And what was the motto carved into that great big mantelpiece? "Homini..." "

" "Homo Homini Lupus", sir," said Cheery. "It means "Every man is a wolf to another man"."

"Hah! Why haven"t I promoted you, Cheery?"

"Because I get embarrassed about shouting at other people, sir. Sir, did you notice the strange thing about the trophies they had on the wall?"

Vimes shut his eyes again. "Stag, bears, some kind of mountain lion... What"re you asking me, corporal?"

"And did you notice something just below them?"

"Let"s see... I think there was just space below them."

"Yes, sir. With three hooks in it. You could just make them out."

Vimes hesitated. "Do you mean," he said carefully, "three hooks that might have had trophies hanging from them until they were removed?"

"Very much that sort of hook, sir, yes. Only perhaps the heads haven"t been hung up yet."

"Trolls" heads?"

"Who knows, sir?"

The coach entered the town.

"Cheery, have you still got that silver chainmail vest you used to have?"

"Er, no, sir. I stopped wearing it because it seemed a bit disloyal to Angua, sir. Why?"

"Just a passing thought. Oh, ye gods, is that Igor"s parcel under the seat?"

"I think so, sir. But look, I know about Igors. If that"s a real hand, the original owner hasn"t got a use for it, believe me."

"What? He cuts bits off dead people?"

"Better than live people, sir."

"You know what I mean!"

"Sir, it"s considered good manners, if one of the Igors has helped you, to put it in your will that they can help themselves to any... parts that might help someone else. They never ask for any money. People just carry little cards. They"re very respected in Uberwald. Very good men with a scalpel and a needle. It"s a kind of vocation, really."

"But they"re covered in scars and stitches!"

"They won"t do to anyone else what they"re not prepared to try on themselves."

Vimes decided to explore the full horror of this. It took his mind off the missing trophies. "Are there any... Igorinas? Igorettes?"

"Well, any Igor is considered a good catch for a young lady..."

"He is?"

"And their daughters tend to be very attractive."

"Eyes at the same height, that sort of thing?"

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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