“We Can Do Your Thinking For You”
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In front of the barrel, a short man in a toga that must have once been white, in the same way that once all continents must have been joined together, was kicking another one who was on the ground.
“You lazy bugger!”
The younger one sat up.
"Honest, Uncle-
“I turn my back for half an hour and you go to sleep on the job!”
"What job? We haven't had anything since Mr. Piloxi the farmer last week-
“How d'you know? How d'you know? While you were snoring dozens of people could've been goin' past, every one of 'em in need of a pers'nal philosophy!”
“-and he only paid in olives.”
“I shall prob'ly get a good price for them olives!”
“They're rotten, Uncle.”
“Nonsense! You said they were green!”
“Yes, but they're supposed to be black.”
In the shadows, the tortoise's head turned back and forth like a spectator's at a tennis match.
The young man stood up.
“Mrs. Bylaxis came in this morning,” he said. “She said the proverb you did for her last week has stopped working.”
Didactylos scratched his head.
“Which one was that?” he said.
“You gave her `It's always darkest before dawn.' ”
“Nothing wrong with that. Damn good philosophy.”
“She said she didn't feel any better. Anyway, she said she'd stayed up all night because of her bad leg and it was actually quite light just before dawn, so it wasn't true. And her leg still dropped off. So I gave her part exchange on `Still, it does you good to laugh.' ”
Didactylos brightened up a bit.
“Shifted that one, eh?”
“She said she'd give it a try. She gave me a whole dried squid for it. She said I looked like I needed feeding up.”
“Right? You're learning. That's lunch sorted out at any rate. See, Urn? Told you it would work if we stuck at it.”
“I don't call one dried squid and a box of greasy olives much of a return, master. Not for two weeks' thinking.”
“We got three obols for doing that proverb for old Grillos the cobbler.”
“No we didn't. He brought it back. His wife didn't like the color.”