Small Gods (Discworld 13) - Page 38

“Oh, that Ossory,” said the tortoise. “Pillar of flame. Yes.”

“And you dictated to him the Book of Ossory,” said Brutha. “Which contains the Directions, the Gateways, the Abjurations, and the Precepts. One hundred and ninety?three chapters.”

“I don't think I did all that,” said Om doubtfully. “I'm sure I would have remembered one hundred and ninety-three chapters.”

“What did you say to him, then?”

“As far as I can remember it was 'Hey, see what I can do!' ” said the tortoise.

Brutha stared at it. It looked embarrassed, insofar as that's possible for a tortoise.

“Even gods like to relax,” it said.

“Hundreds of thousands of people live their lives by the Abjurations and the Precepts!” Brutha snarled.

“Well? I'm not stopping them,” said Om.

“If you didn't dictate them, who did?”

“Don't ask me. I'm not omnicognisant!”

Brutha was shaking with anger.

“And the Prophet Abbys? I suppose someone just happened to give him the Codicils, did they?”

"It wasn't me-

“They're written on slabs of lead ten feet tall!”

“Oh, well, it must have been me, yes? I always have a ton of lead slabs around in case I meet someone in the desert, yes?”

“What! If you didn't give them to him, who did?” “I don't know. Why should I know? I can't be everywhere at once!”

“You're omnipresent!”

“What says so?”

“The Prophet Hashimi!”

“Never met the man!”

“Oh? Oh? So I suppose you didn't give him the Book of Creation, then?”

“What Book of Creation?”

“You mean you don't know?”

"No.

“Then who gave it to him?”

“I don't know! Perhaps he wrote it himself!”

Brutha put his hand over his mouth in horror.

“Thaff blafhngf!”

“What?”

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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