Small Gods (Discworld 13) - Page 28

“Even the peasants know there's something wrong. You can't stop the truth. Dam the river of truth? Then there are leaks of great force. Didn't we find out about Murduck? Hah! 'Killed in Ephebe,' Vorbis said.”

“One of us must go to Ephebe and save the Master. If he really exists.”

“He exists. His name is on the book.”

“Didactylos. A strange name. It means Two-Fingered, you know.”

“They must honor him in Ephebe.”

“Bring him back here, if possible. And the Book.”

One of the masks seemed hesitant. His knuckles clicked again.

“But will people rally behind . . . a book? People need more than a book. They're peasants. They can't read.”

“But they can listen!”

“Even so . . . they need to be shown . . . they need a symbol . . .”

“We have one!”

Instinctively, every masked figure turned to look at the drawing on the wall, indistinct in the firelight but graven on their minds. They were looking at the truth, which can often impress.

“The Turtle Moves!”

“The Turtle Moves!”

“The Turtle Moves!”

The leader nodded.

“And now,” he said, “we will draw lots . . .”

The Great God Om waxed wroth, or at least made a spirited attempt. There is a limit to the amount of wroth that can be waxed one inch from the ground, but he was right up against it.

He silently cursed a beetle, which is like pouring water onto a pond. It didn't seem to make any difference, anyway. The beetle plodded away.

He cursed a melon unto the eighth generation, but nothing happened. He tried a plague of boils. The melon just sat there, ripening slightly.

Just because he was temporarily embarrassed, the whole world thought it could take advantage. Well, when Om got back to his rightful shape and power, he told himself, Steps would be Taken. The tribes of Beetles and Melons would wish they'd never been created. And something really horrible would happen to all eagles. And . . . and there would be a holy commandment involving the planting of more lettuces . . .

By the time the big boy arrived back with the waxy-skinned man, the Great God Om was in no mood for pleasantries. Besides, from a tortoise-eye viewpoint even the most handsome human is only a pair of feet, a distant pointy head, and, somewhere up there, the wrong end of a pair of nostrils.

“What's this?” he snarled.

“This is Brother Nhumrod,” said Brutha. “Master of the novices. He is very important.”

“Didn't I tell you not to bring me some fat old pederast!” shouted the voice in his head. “Your eyeballs will be spitted on shafts of fire for this!”

Brutha knelt down.

“I can't go to the High Priest,” he said, as patiently as possible. “Novices aren't even allowed in the Great Temple except on special occasions. I'd be Taught the Error of My Ways by the Quisition if I was caught. It's the Law.”

“Stupid fool!” the tortoise shouted.

Nhumrod decided that it was time to speak.

“Novice Brutha,” he said, “for what reason are you talking to a small tortoise?”

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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