Lords and Ladies (Discworld 14) - Page 321

“I wantzzz a bunzzch of flowerszz, a pot of honey, and someone to szzzting.”

“I brung the sugar bowl, Esme,” said Nanny Ogg.

Granny eyed it hungrily, and then looked at the bees that were taking off from her head like planes from a stricken carrier.

“Pour a dzzrop of water on it, then, and tip it out on the table for them.”

She stared triumphantly at their faces as Nanny Ogg bustled off.

“I done it with beezzz! No one can do it with beezzz, and I done it! You endzzz up with your mind all flying in different directionzzz! You got to be good to do it with beezzz!”

Nanny Ogg sloshed the bowl of makeshift syrup across the table. The swarm descended.

“You're alive?” Ridcully managed.

“That's what a univerzzity education doezz for you,” said Granny, trying to massage some life into her arms. “You've only got to be sitting up and talking for five minutzz and they can work out you're alive.”

Nanny Ogg handed her a glass of water. It hovered in the air for a moment and then crashed to the floor, because Granny had tried to grasp it with her fifth leg.

“Zzorry.”

“I knew you wasn't certain!” said Nanny.

“Czertain? Of courze I waz certain! Never in any doubt whatsoever.”

Magrat thought about the will.

“You never had a moment's doubt?”

Granny Weatherwax had the grace not to look her in the eye. Instead, she rubbed her hands together.

“What's been happening while I've been away?”

“Well,” said Nanny, “Magrat stood up to the-”

“Oh, I knew she'd do that. Had the wedding, have you?”

“Wedding?” The rest of them exchanged glances.

“Of course not!” said Magrat. “Brother Perdore of the Nine Day Wonderers was going to do it and he was knocked out cold by an elf, and anyway people are all-”

“Don't let's have any excuses,” said Granny briskly. “Anyway, a senior wizard can conduct a service at a pinch, ain't that right?”

“I, I, I think so,” said Ridcully, who was falling behind a bit in world events.

“Right. A wizard's only a priest without a god and a damp handshake,” said Granny

“But half the guests have run away!” said Magrat.

“We'll round up some more,” said Granny

“Mrs. Scorbic will never get the wedding feast done in time!”

“You'll have to tell her to,” said Granny.

“The bridesmaids aren't here!”

“We'll make do.”

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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