Lords and Ladies (Discworld 14) - Page 197

But somewhere out there, at the point where the parallel universes tangle, are a million minds just like yours. For a very obvious reason.

Granny Weatherwax smiled.

Millie Chillum and the king and one or two hangers-on were clustered around the door to Magrat's room when Nanny Ogg arrived.

“What's happening?”

“I know she's in there,” said Verence, holding his crown in his hands in the famous At'-Senor-Mexican-Bandits-Have-Raided-Our-Village position. “Millie heard her shout go away and I think she threw something at the door.”

Nanny Ogg nodded sagely.

“Wedding nerves,” she said. “Bound to happen.”

“But we're all going to attend the Entertainment,” said Verence. “She really ought to attend the Entertainment.”

“Well, I dunno,” said Nanny. “Seeing our Jason and the rest of 'em prancing about in straw wigs . . . I mean, they mean well, but it's not something a young - a fairly young - girl has to see on the night before her nuptials. You asked her to unlock the door?”

“I did better than that,” said Verence. “I instructed her to. That was right, wasn't it? If even Magrat won't obey me, I'm a poor lookout as king.”

“Ah,” said Nanny, after a moment's slow consideration. “You've not entirely spent a lot of time in female company, have you? In a generalized sort of way?”

“Well, I-”

The crown spun in Verence's nervous fingers. Not only had the bandits invaded the village, but the Magnificent Seven had decided to go bowling instead.

“Tell you what,” said Nanny, patting him on the back,

“you go and preside over the Entertainment and hobnob with the other nobs. I'll see to Magrat, don't you worry. I've been a bride three times, and that's only the official score.”

“Yes, but she should-”

“I think if we go easy on the 'shoulds,'” said Nanny, “we might all make it to the wedding. Now, off you all go.”

“Someone ought to stay here,” said Verence. “Shawn will be on guard, but-”

“No one's going to invade, are they?” said Nanny. “Let me sort this out.”

“Well. . . if you're sure . . .”

“Go on!”

Nanny Ogg waited until she heard them go down the main staircase. After a while a rattle of coaches and general shouting suggested that the wedding party was leaving, minus the bride-to-be.

She counted to a hundred, under her breath.

Then:

“Magrat?”

“Go away!”

“I know how it is,” said Nanny. “I was a bit worried on the night before my wedding.” She refrained from adding:

because there was a reasonable chance Jason would turn up as an extra guest.

“I am not worried! I am angry!”

“Why?”

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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