Lords and Ladies (Discworld 14) - Page 49

“It really suits you, your soon-going-to-be-majesty,” said Millie.

Magrat turned this way and that.

“My hair's a mess,” she said, after a while.

“Please m'm, the king said he's having a hairdresser come all the way from Ankh-Morpork, m'm. For the wedding.”

Magrat patted a tress into place. It was beginning to dawn on her that being a queen was a whole new life.

“My word,” she said. “And what happens now?”

“Dunno, m'm.”

“What's the king doing?”

“Oh, he had breakfast early and buggered off over to Slice to show old Muckloe how to breed his pigs out of a book.”

“So what do I do? What's my job?”

Millie looked puzzled although this did not involve much of a change in her general expression.

“Dunno, m'm. Reigning, I suppose. Walking around in the garden. Holding court. Doin' tapestry. That's very popular among queens. And then. . . er. . . later on there's the royal succession. . .”

“At the moment,” said Magrat firmly, “we'll have a go at the tapestry.”

Ridcully was having difficulty with the Librarian.

“I happen to be your Archchancellor, sir!”

“Oook.”

“You'll like it up there! Fresh air! Bags of trees! More woods than you can shake a stick at!”

“Oook!”

“Come down this minute!”

“Oook!”

“The books'll be quite safe here during the holidays. Good grief, it's hard enough to get students to come in here at the best of times-”

“Oook!”

Ridcully glared at the Librarian, who was hanging by his toes from the top shelf of Parazoology Ba to Mn.

'Oh, well,“ he said, his voice suddenly low and cunning, ”it's a great shame, in the circumstances. They've got a pretty good library in Lancre castle, I heard. Well, they call it a library - it's just a lot of old books. Never had a catalogue near 'em, apparently."

“Oook?”

“Thousands of books. Someone told me there's incunibles, too. Shame, really, you not wanting to see them.” Ridcully's voice could have greased axles.

“Oook?”

“But I can see your mind is quite made up. So I shall be going. Farewell.”

Ridcully paused outside the Library door, counting under his breath. He'd reached “three” when the Librarian knuckled through at high speed, caught by the incunibles.

“So that'll be four tickets, then?” said Ridcully.

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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