Mort (Discworld 4) - Page 97

'We should have brought some breadcrumbs,' said Mort gallantly, opting for a totally non-controversial subject.

'He never comes out here, you know,' said Ysabell, watching the fish. 'He made it to keep me amused.'

'It didn't work?'

'It's not real,' she said. 'Nothing's real here. Not really real. He just likes to act like a human being. He's trying really hard at the moment, have you noticed. I think you're having an effect on him. Did you know he tried to learn the banjo once?'

'I see him as more the organ type.'

'He couldn't get the hang of it,' said Ysabell, ignoring him. 'He can't create, you see.'

'You said he created this pool.'

'It's a copy of one he saw somewhere. Everything's a copy.'

Mort shifted uneasily. Some small insect had crawled up his leg.

'It's rather sad,' he said, hoping that this was approximately the right tone to adopt.

'Yes.'

She scooped a handful of gravel from the path and began to flick it absent-mindedly into the pool.

'Are my eyebrows that bad?' she said.

'Um,' said Mort, 'afraid so.'

'Oh.' Flick, flick. The carp were watching her disdainfully.

'And my legs?' he said.

'Yes. Sorry.'

Mort shuffled anxiously through his limited repertoire of small talk, and gave up.

'Never mind,' he said gallantly. 'At least you can use tweezers.'

'He's very kind,' said Ysabell, ignoring him, 'in a sort of absent-minded way.'

'He's not exactly your real father, is he?'

'My parents were killed crossing the Great Nef years ago. There was a storm, I think. He found me and brought me here. I don't know why he did it.'

'Perhaps he felt sorry for you?'

'He never feels anything. I don't mean that nastily, you understand. It's just that he's got nothing to feel with, no whatd'youcallits, no glands. He probably thought sorry for me.'

She turned her pale round face towards Mort.

'I won't hear a word against him. He tries to do his best. It's just that he's always got so much to think about.'

'My father was a bit like that. Is, I mean.'

'I expect he's got glands, though.'

'I imagine he has,' said Mort, shifting uneasily. 'Its not something I've ever really thought about, glands.'

They stared side by side at the trout. The trout stared back.

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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