I'HAVE BEEN GOING FOR SOME TIME, YES, said Death.
'Good. Good. Never really thought of it as a job for Mort, you know, but it's good work, good work, always very reliable. What's your name?'
DEATH.
'Dad —' said Mort urgently.
'Can't say I recognise the firm,' said Lezek. 'Where are you based exactly?'
FROM THE UTTERMOST DEPTHS OF THE SEA TO THE HEIGHTS WHERE EVEN THE EAGLE MAY NOT GO, said Death.
'That's fair enough,' nodded Lezek. 'Well, I —'
'Dad —' said Mort, pulling at his father's coat.
Death laid a hand on Mort's shoulder.
WHAT YOUR FATHER SEES AND HEARS IS NOT WHAT YOU SEE AND HEAR, he said. DO NOT WORRY HIM. DO YOU THINK HE WOULD WANT TO SEE ME – IN THE FLESH, AS IT WERE?
'But you're Death,' said Mort. 'You go around killing people!'
I? KILL? said Death, obviously offended. CERTAINLY NOT. PEOPLE GET KILLED, BUT THAT'S THEIR BUSINESS. I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON. AFTER ALL, IT'D BE A BLOODY STUPID WORLD IF PEOPLE GOT KILLED WITHOUT DYING, WOULDN'T IT?
'Well, yes —' said Mort, doubtfully.
Mort had never heard the word 'intrigued'. It was not in regular use in the family vocabulary. But a spark in his soul told him that here was something weird and fascinating and not entirely horrible, and that if he let this moment go he'd spend the rest of his life regretting it. And he remembered the humiliations of the day, and the long walk back home. . . .
'Er,' he began, 'I don't have to die to get the job, do I?'
BEING DEAD IS NOT COMPULSORY.
'And . . . the bones . . .?'
NOT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.
Mort breathed out again. It had been starting to prey on his mind.
'If father says it's all right,' he said.
They looked at Lezek, who was scratching his beard.
'How do you feel about this, Mort?' he said, with the brittle brightness of a fever victim. 'It's not everyone's idea of an occupation. It's not what I had in mind, I admit. But they do say that undertaking is an honoured profession. It's your choice.'
'Undertaking?' said Mort. Death nodded, and raised his finger to his lips in a conspiratorial gesture.
'It's interesting,' said Mort slowly. 'I think I'd like to try it.'
'Where did you say your business was?' said Lezek. 'Is it far?'
NO FURTHER THAN THE THICKNESS OF A SHADOW, aid Death. WHERE THE FIRST PRIMAL CELL WAS, THERE WAS I ALSO. WHERE MAN IS, THERE AM I.
WHEN THE LAST LIFE CRAWLS UNDER FREEZING STARS, THERE WILL I BE.
'Ah,' said Lezek, 'you get about a bit, then.' He looked puzzled, like a man struggling to remember something important, and then obviously gave up.
Death patted him on the shoulder in a friendly fashion and turned to Mort.
HAVE YOU ANY POSSESSIONS, BOY?