When there was a knocking at the door the entire floor appeared to rush towards the walls.
After a few seconds the knocking came again.
There was another pause. Then the knocking rattled the door on its hinges, and a voice cried, 'Open in the name of the king!'
A second voice said, in hurt tones, 'You don't have to shout like that. Why did you shout like that? I didn't order you to shout like that. It's enough to frighten anybody, shouting like that.'
'Sorry, sire! It goes with the job, sire!'
'Just knock again. A bit more gently, please.'
The knocking might have been a bit softer. Magrat's apron dropped off its hook on the back of the door.
'Are you sure I can't do it myself?'
'It's not done, sire, kings knocking at humble cottage doors. Best leave it to me. OPEN IN THE—'
'Sergeant!'
'Sorry, sire. Forgot myself.'
'Try the latch.'
There was the sound of someone being extremely hesitant.
'Don't like the sound of that, sire,' said the invisible sergeant. 'Could be dangerous. If you want my advice, sire, I'd set fire to the thatch.'
'Set fire?'
'Yessire. We always do that if they don't answer the door. Brings them out a treat.'
'I don't think that would be appropriate, sergeant. I think I'll try the latch, if it's all the same to you.'
'Breaks my heart to see you do it, sire.'
'Well, I'm sorry.'
'You could at least let me buff it up for you.'
'No!'
'Well, couldn't I just set fire to the privy—?'
'Absolutely not!'
'That chicken house over there looks as if it would go up like-'
'Sergeant!'
'Sire!'
'Go back to the castle!'
'What, and leave you all alone, sire?'
'This is a matter of extreme delicacy, sergeant. I am sure you are a man of sterling qualities, but there are times when even a king needs to be alone. It concerns a young woman, you understand.'
'Ah. Point taken, sire,'