Hwel's hand rested on Tomjon's shoulder for a moment. Then he said, 'You're right, boss.'
'Certainly I am. How's the play going?'
'Hmm? What play?' said Hwel, innocently.
Tomjon carefully removed a plaster brow ridge.
'You know,' he said. 'That one. The Lancre King.'
'Oh. Coming along. Coming along, you know. I'll get it right one of these days.' Hwel changed the subject with speed. 'You know, we could work our way down to the river and take a boat home. That would be nice, wouldn't it?'
'But we could work our way home over land and pick up some more cash. That would be better, wouldn't it?' Tomjon grinned. 'We took one hundred and three pence tonight; I counted heads during the Judgement speech. That's nearly one silver piece after expenses.'
'You're your father's son, and no mistake,' said Hwel.
Tomjon sat back and looked at himself in the mirror.
'Yes,' he said, 'I thought I had better be.'
Magrat didn't like cats and hated the idea of mousetraps. She'd always felt that it should be possible to come to some sort of arrangement with creatures like mice so that all available food was rationed in the best interest of all parties. This was a very humanitarian outlook, which is to say that it was not a view shared by mice, and therefore her moonlit kitchen was alive.
When there was a knocking at the door the entire floor appeared to rush towards the walls.
After a few seconds the knocking came again.
There was another pause. Then the knocking rattled the door on its hinges, and a voice cried, 'Open in the name of the king!'
A second voice said, in hurt tones, 'You don't have to shout like that. Why did you shout like that? I didn't order you to shout like that. It's enough to frighten anybody, shouting like that.'
'Sorry, sire! It goes with the job, sire!'
'Just knock again. A bit more gently, please.'
The knocking might have been a bit softer. Magrat's apron dropped off its hook on the back of the door.
'Are you sure I can't do it myself?'
'It's not done, sire, kings knocking at humble cottage doors. Best leave it to me. OPEN IN THE—'
'Sergeant!'
'Sorry, sire. Forgot myself.'
'Try the latch.'
There was the sound of someone being extremely hesitant.
'Don't like the sound of that, sire,' said the invisible sergeant. 'Could be dangerous. If you want my advice, sire, I'd set fire to the thatch.'
'Set fire?'
'Yessire. We always do that if they don't answer the door. Brings them out a treat.'
'I don't think that would be appropriate, sergeant. I think I'll try the latch, if it's all the same to you.'
'Breaks my heart to see you do it, sire.'
'Well, I'm sorry.'