Wyrd Sisters (Discworld 6) - Page 241

'I was bloody King of Lancre!' shouted Tomjon.

'In which case you are the alleged victim,' said the duchess calmly. 'And unable to speak for the prosecution. It is against all precedent.'

Tomjon's body turned towards Death.

'You were there! You saw it all!'

I SUSPECT I WOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AN APPROPRIATE WITNESS.

'Therefore there is no proof, and where there is no proof there is no crime,' said the duchess. She motioned the soldiers forward.

'So much for your experiment,' she said to her husband. 'I think my way is better.'

She looked around the stage, and found the witches.

'Arrest them,' she said.

'No,' said the Fool, stepping out of the wings.

'What did you say?'

'I saw it all,' said the Fool, simply. 'I was in the Great Hall that night. You killed the king, my lord.'

'I did not!' screamed the duke. 'You were not there! I did not see you there! I order you not to be there!'

'You did not dare say this before,' said Lady Felmet.

'Yes, lady. But I must say it now.'

The duke focused unsteadily on him.

'You swore loyalty unto death, my Fool,' he hissed.

'Yes, my lord. I'm sorry.'

'You're dead.'

The duke snatched a dagger from Wimsloe's-unresisting hand, darted forward, and plunged it to the hilt into the Fool's heart. Magrat screamed.

The Fool rocked back and forth unsteadily.

'Thank goodness that's over,' he said, as Magrat pushed her way through the actors and clasped him to what could charitably be called her bosom. It struck the Fool that he had never looked a bosom squarely in the face, at least since he was a baby, and it was particularly cruel of the world to save the experience until after he was dead.

He gently moved one of Magrat's arms and pulled the despicable horned cowl from his head, and tossed it as far as possible. He didn't have to be a Fool any more or, he realised, bother about vows or anything. What with bosoms as well, death seemed to be an improvement.

'I didn't do it,' said the duke.

No pain, thought the Fool. Funny, that. On the other hand, you obviously can't feel pain when you are dead. It would be wasted.

'You all saw that I didn't do it,' said the duke.

Death gave the Fool a puzzled look. Then he reached into the recesses of his robes and pulled out an hourglass. It had bells on it. He gave it a gentle shake, which made them tinkle.

'I gave no orders that any such thing should be done,' said the duke calmly. His voice came from a long way off, from wherever his mind was now. The company stared at him wordlessly. It wasn't possible to hate someone like this, only to feel acutely embarrassed about being anywhere near him. Even the Fool felt embarrassed, and he was dead.

Death tapped the hourglass, and then peered at it to see if it had gone wrong.

uke crouched in his seat, his face a panorama of fear. He extended what had once been a finger.

Tags: Terry Pratchett Discworld Fantasy
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