'He was probably suspicious of you,' she concluded. 'He was probably too overcome to speak, really.'
She put down the bowl of beans and looked thoughtfully at the trees.
'Have you got any family still working up at the castle?' she said.
'Shirl and Daff help out in the kitchens since the cook went off his head.'
'Good. I'll have a word with Magrat. I think we should see this theatre.'
'Perfect,' said the duke.
'Thank you,' said Hwel.
'You've got it exactly spot on about that dreadful accident,' said the duke. 'You might almost have been there. Ha. Ha.'
'You weren't, were you?' said Lady Felmet, leaning forward and glaring at the dwarf.
'I just used my imagination,' said Hwel hurriedly. The duchess glared at him, suggesting that his imagination could consider itself lucky it wasn't being dragged off to the courtyard to explain itself to four angry wild horses and a length of chain.
'Exactly right,' said the duke, leafing one-handedly through the pages. 'This is exactly, exactly, exactly how it was.'
'Will have been,' snapped the duchess.
The duke turned another page.
'You're in this too,' he said. 'Amazing. It's a word for word how I'm going to remember it. I see you've got Death in it, too.'
'Always popular,' said Hwel. 'People expect it.'
'How soon can you act it?'
'Stage it,' corrected Hwel, and added, 'We've tried it out. As soon as you like.' And then we can get away from here, he said to himself, away from your eyes like two raw eggs and this female mountain in the red dress and this castle which seems to act like a magnet for the wind. This is not going to go down as one of my best plays, I know that much.
'How much did we say we were going to pay you?' said the duchess.
'I think you mentioned another hundred silver pieces,' said Hwel.
'Worth every penny,' said the duke.
Hwel left hurriedly, before the duchess could start to bargain. But he felt he'd gladly pay something to be out of this place. Bijou, he thought. Gods, how could anyone like a kingdom like this?
The Fool waited in the meadow with the lake. He stared wistfully at the sky and wondered where the hell Magrat was. This was, she said, their place; the fact that a few dozen cows also shared it at the moment didn't appear to make any difference.
, yes,' said Tomjon. 'All day.'
'You've come too far,' said Granny. 'Go back about two miles, and take the track on the right, past the stand of pines.'
Wimsloe tugged at Tomjon's shirt.
'When you m-meet a m-mysterious old lady in the road,' he said, 'you've got to offer to s-share your lunch. Or help her across the r-river.'
'You have?'
'It's t-terribly b-bad luck not to.'
Tomjon gave Granny a polite smile.
'Would you care to share our lunch, good mo – old wo – ma'am?'