While she couldn't see living the rest of her life that way, maybe she could adopt the attitude for one selfish day.
He'd wanted to make the most of their last day before they said goodbye. Well, she had a damn good idea of how they should spend their last night together.
Chapter 14
His father looked different cradling a sleeping Magda to his chest. Dave Clark sprawled in his leather recliner, remote in his hand as he channel surfed. Magda snoozed away with her familiar kid snore.
Gray had expected an afternoon with his dysfunctional family would send Lori running screaming for the woods. Instead he'd seen the Clark clan through her eyes and found a few surprises of his own. Nothing radical, just softening touches around the edges.
When had his parents started holding hands again? His father had actually spoken more than three-word sentences to his children and grandchildren.
Staring at his father, Gray leaned a shoulder against the archway into the great room. What else had he missed?
He'd missed finding a chance to talk with Lori alone, since she'd spent the entire day surrounded by his family.
Gray stopped his mother in the hall, away from nosy nieces and nephews. "Hey, Mom. Do you mind watching Magda while Lori and I go for a walk?" Like he really expected his mom to argue.
Penciled eyebrows rose. "Of course not. Hold on a minute first."
Angela bustled from the room, then rushed back in breathlessly, her arms full. "Here." She shoved a beach bag and a blanket against his chest. "Do take your time. Stop and stargaze."
Oddly enough, he'd planned just that.
Gray juggled the blanket until it draped over his arm and peered in the bag warily. Two sodas, a box of crackers and a can of Cheez Whiz rattled around inside. As far as impromptu picnics went, it wasn't half bad.>But she wouldn't say it was her life anymore, not like Gray's military career. "Can I ask you something?"
"Like you've ever held back before."
"Good point." She chewed on her bottom lip, caught his transfixed stare on her mouth and stopped nibbling before they ended up in a ditch. "All that talk about the military being in your blood, I hear you. But why not just serve as a doctor? Why do you put your body through all this? We've spent less that two weeks together, and you've taken a leg full of shrapnel and had the air sucked out of your body."
His calf flexed. "I thought about getting out."
"You did?"
"Right after Desert Storm. I worried I might turn into my old man and decided to try med school. I'd considered it before, but flying tugged me, too. Confused the hell out of me sometimes when I was growing up." He spiked a hand through his hair, all the combing his short cut needed. "Six months into med school, I knew it wasn't going to work. Not the way I'd planned. Med school was the right choice. But not civilian life."
The Explorer wove a winding path through the clusters of condos—thatched wooden buildings shaded by towering oaks and hanging Spanish moss. Sunlight dappled a Hansel and Gretel breadcrumb-like trail alongside the road. What a beautiful place to call home. "Okay, so you're not getting out of the military. But plenty of other guys can fly that plane. You don't have to do everything. You're a doctor, Gray. Why not make your mark in the service that way?"
"There's the fundamental difference in the way we military people think. Every one of us honestly believes we can make a specific difference or we would have gotten out long ago. Just as I have to be a doctor, I have to fly." In front of his parents' condo, he slid the car into park. Gray released the steering wheel and flipped his hands over. "Could another set of hands have gotten Magda out of Sentavo? Maybe. But maybe not. It doesn't really matter, since knowing won't change a thing. This is what I do."
The intensity in his eyes scared her. Fascinated her. How could she not admire him? Want him.
Her hand reached up to his jaw, and she allowed her fingers the pleasure of caressing his beard-stubbled face. Just as she considered tracing his bottom lip…
Magda flung her Happy Meal toy on the floor. Lori blinked away the moment.
She twisted to retrieve the toy, pausing to straighten Magda's strawberry jumper and blow a kiss. Seeing Magda so happy and excited, Lori couldn't regret joining Gray for the day. The little girl deserved so much more from life than she'd seen so far.
Lori spun back around as Gray's family poured from the front door like water from an emptying aqueduct—a younger, heavier-set version of himself, his mother and his lanky sister, along with in-laws, nieces, nephews…
She lost count as they gushed down the steps. Envy nipped her, followed by a hefty bite of anger. She would have traded a hundred Barbie house dreams to spend an afternoon in a family like this.
Realization tingled over her as she wondered if she hadn't done just that.
* * *
Lori tapped her toe on the porch, launching the swing in motion. She cradled Magda in her lap, the gentle rocking as soothing for Lori as the child.
An ocean breeze bowed the rushes along the marshy coastline, then detoured through the lower deck screened-in porch. The precious perfume of baby shampoo and sunshine twined around her.