The answer burned in his gut, in his brain, words he'd never wanted to say again, much less feel. "I'm the guy who loves you, damn it."
Chapter 14
Darcy reeled from Max's words echoing in her head. Her intimacy issues were taking some serious boundary hits tonight.
She should be dancing. He wanted her. Even lo— Damn. She couldn't even think it. Couldn't breathe as she sat in the circle of his arms. Still, she felt so much for this man. And it scared her. Max was supposed to have been safe, first as the moody professor, even later as the driven operative—both men who wouldn't make demands on her emotions.
The words were right there in her head, waiting to be spoken. Waiting for her to throw away control and give over her life and herself to a chance with this incredible man who mesmerized her even as he confused the hell out of her.
"Max." She pushed the word out. "I—" He shook his head, cupped a hand behind her neck, urged her forward and just kissed her.
Man, did he have a way of just kissing her.
Her insides melted. She hooked her arms around his neck and lost herself in the moment. Tried to ignore the insistent voice telling her she wasn't being fair. She was using sex to avoid talking. She knew it, but couldn't make herself stop. How strange that Max could voice his feelings while she hid behind desire.
A desire sparking through her with all the heat of an afterburner. Desire and emotions, too, whether she wanted them or not. But what did she feel for this wild, unpredictable man who'd so captured her attention, from the minute he'd sauntered into her life?
She didn't want to think. Just wanted to feel. So much easier than sorting through emotions and the risk of opening her heart.
Being vulnerable.
She wanted control back. Somewhere. Somehow. Of something in her life. Instincts. She could trust those.
Go with it.
Darcy surrendered to the moment, the sensual caress of Max's lips on her skin. Hers on his. He whipped the sheet free and pitched it aside. She trailed her fingers down his chest, along his scarred shoulder. Felt his strength. Reveled in rocking his control.
Her hands glided around to his back, his skin so hot under her hands as if he'd soaked up all the sun's rays. That heat seeped right back into her until it pulsed through her veins, chasing away the chill of childhood memories.
And how she welcomed losing herself in Max. She slid from his lap and dropped to her knees.
His hands fell to her shoulders. "Darcy—"
She took him in her mouth and whatever he'd started to say choked off in a groan. She let those instincts guide her into new, uncharted territory she very much wanted to explore. She lost herself in the moment, in the unbridled pleasure of giving pleasure until Max gripped her arms and hauled her up.
"Enough," he growled, hooking an arm behind her legs and tossing her on the bed.
Max blanketed her with his body, elbows keeping the bulk of his weight off her, simultaneously sheltering while exciting. She savored the steely strength of him stretched out over her, yet wrestled with the need to flip him on his back. Be the one over him. But as she'd found only moments before, even in taking control she surrendered.
His pleasure was hers.
She couldn't conquer or control. If only she could find an equality, a way to hold on to herself and have him at the same time.
Then Max rolled to his side, pulling her onto hers.
Confusion niggled, threatening to slow her momentum. "Max, help out the rookie here."
"A rookie? Not for long." Max cradled her thigh in a firm but gentle hand and urged her leg over his hip, bringing her closer as side by side they faced each other. No one above or under.
How did this man seem to recognize the wants she hadn't even given voice to? Damn but that scared her.
Excited her.
Her leg locked around him as she guided him into her body. Wanted to let him into her heart. What would it be like to spend years, a lifetime even, being challenged by this man who saw beyond boundaries? Made his own rales, yet respected hers, at least here.
It could be... everything.
Slowly he filled her, stretched her tender body and stared into her eyes while giving her time to adjust. He communicated so much through his eyes. Why hadn't she ever realized that before? He didn't use words. He sensed.