She pushed back distracting emotions, sliding into a chair, her shaking knees close to betraying her. “Are you telling me you were in witness protection?”
“In a sense, but deeper.”
Willing her heart out of her throat, Stella counted bolts in the beams…
Melanie smiled. “What are you counting?”
“What?” She sat up straighter, startled.
“You always did that when you were little, counting to calm yourself… crayons, stairs, roadside signs.”
Stella’s already thread-thin control snapped. “How would you know what I’m like anymore?” She smacked the table, leaning forward. “You haven’t bothered to speak to me since I was fifteen years old.”
“Would you believe me if I said I did it for your own safety?” She twisted the headscarf between her fingers.
That took a little wind out of her sails and made sense. Her mother had been an agent, and so many things could go wrong for operatives that would change life forever. But damn it, she didn’t want to feel sorry for her mother. “Where have you been all this time?”
“Teaching at an orphan school, here in Africa.”
“Of course. You always did love this place.” She couldn’t help the bitterness in her voice. Her mom had cared more about this country and its people than her own family.
“Stella, I’m sorry I had to leave you.” Her mother’s hand inched across the table, close but not touching.
“And Dad and the boys.”
“All of you. I thought I could have this job, stay in the field, and have my family too. For a while it worked.” Her green eyes took on a faraway look. “Until my cover was blown and the only way I could ensure our family’s safety was to disappear.”
“I wanted to come with you.” Their fight at the mall came roaring back, the ache of abandonment. “Did you ever think of offering us the option to join you when you built your new life?”
“Even if I could have justified putting you at risk, your brothers were in college. And what would have happened if you said no? Once you knew I was alive, I would have placed you in danger for the rest of your life.” Her shoulders braced again. “I made the decision and you can be angry with me. Blame me. Hate me. But I will always believe I made the best possible choice under the worst possible circumstances. Think logically, think like the agent you are, sift through it, and you’ll come to the same conclusion.”
Her mother’s words made total sense in a heartbreaking way. Melanie Carson—Annie Johnson—had made her choice: the job. Her mother was the kind of agent she would never be, the kind she didn’t want to be.
Stella squeezed her eyes closed and… accepted.
“What do I call you?”
Her mother might have chosen the right course of action—logically. That didn’t mean Stella had to like it. Right or not, the decision hurt immeasurably.
“My name has been Annie Johnson for fourteen years. I don’t know who I will be after this.”
“Okay, then.” She shoved her chair from the table and walked to the door. Pausing without facing her mom, she said, “For what it’s worth, Annie, Melanie, whoever you are, I forgive you.”
Stella slipped out of the door past her mother’s Egyptian bodyguard and back to her final mission.
Chapter 15
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Jose tugged off his combat boots. He and Stella had twenty minutes—tops—to change into more formal gear and get back to work security for the outdoor festival. Her head had to be reeling after the confrontation with her mother, but Stella had stayed silent during the bus ride from the airport to their quarters.
Not that he’d expected her to talk about it in front of his team and other operatives. And now that they were alone? She was still putting up walls, and he needed to get through to her before they launched this last phase of the mission. Especially when she’d made it so clear she was ready to be done.
Frustration simmered on so many levels. Somebody should have his head examined for planning an outdoor celebration in this volatile region. But he went where he was sent, carried out the assignments he was given. He didn’t know any other way to live. He was fast realizing he didn’t know how he could live without Stella in his life. These past days together again had to mean something to her too. Why couldn’t she recognize that?
He thumbed the buttons on his sweaty ABU—Airman Battle Uniform. He would change back into the same digital camo uniform, but a clean version with a bulletproof vest and his maroon beret. His role dictated he stand out as a security force. Stella, on the other hand, would be blending in.
She pinned her braid into a bun on the back of her head. She wore her standard black pants and tank top, her bulletproof vest, and a kanga resting beside her on a chair. He recognized that length of cloth well. He’d bought it for her on their last date.
God, how could they be so good together and so wrong for each other? But without a doubt, he couldn’t miss the sadness on her face. He pulled off his sweat-stained uniform and reached for a fresh set, tugging on his pants, his eyes never leaving her.