Still, he smiled his thanks and prayed they would leave faster. He just wanted to be alone to eat and shower.
And plan.
He hadn’t decided how to get out of here yet, but if he bided his time long enough he would come up with a plan. He still had more information to share, later, if he needed it. For now they would be busy figuring out the secrets encrypted into the pattern on the cloth. Although once they translated the writing, he suspected they would never unravel the code. That was probably the only thing keeping him alive.
Because even though he’d needed to hide here from dozens of monsters out to get him, there were monsters here too.
***
Stella jogged down the outdoor steps—über careful not to brush against Jose—as they made their way through the base, back to the command center in the hangar.
She’d been foolish to think she could share a room with him for even a few hours and suffer no consequences. More than just memories of making love tormented her. She may have been asleep most of the time, but being so close to him knocked the props out from under her self-control. Being with him, curled up close to his warm, familiar body, and talking to him taunted her with how well they fit in more ways than just sex. She missed him. She ached to be with him, and she didn’t know how to stuff down those feelings again.
And a nighttime stroll sure as hell wasn’t helping matters.
At least she was wearing more than a robe now. After bolting off the bed to put distance between her and the memories of her first time sleeping with Jose, she’d rushed into the bathroom to change into jeans and an embroidered tunic.
The past few days of captivity must have stripped away her ability to put up walls. She needed to get back to work, to refocus her thoughts and numb her emotions. Above all, she needed to keep things light, superficial.
She wrapped her arms around herself. “The lights are off in the chow hall. I sure hope they sent some boxed meals to the hangar.”
His boots thudded a steady pace beside her. “Remember when we went out to eat in Egypt?”
Gulp. Apparently he wasn’t going to follow her lead on small talk. “How could I forget our dinner by the Nile? I recall every word we said, and yes, I remember staying in the hotel with you and making love with you for the first time. It would be an obvious lie to say otherwise.”
She walked faster.
So did he. “Me too.”
Anger fed off her simmering sexual frustration. She stopped abruptly, her gym shoes squeaking as she pivoted to face him. “Why in the world would you bring that up now?”
He clasped her elbow, pulling her closer, the deserted walkway giving an illusion of privacy—intimacy. “You want the truth? Here it is. The past month without you has been hell.” His voice went raw. “Then thinking you would die in that camp took hell to a whole different level.”
“Jose,” emotion clogged her throat, “of course there are still residual feelings. But that doesn’t mean…”
“No. Not residual or leftover or fading feelings.” He caressed her face. “I’ve decided I’m not sure how I can live the rest of my life without you.”
His touch was so strong and tender on that star-filled night… it was all too much. She swayed closer to him, her br**sts brushing the familiar hard wall of his chest. “You’re not playing fair.”
“None of this is fair, Stella.” His dark eyes held her with a shivery intensity. Night sounds reverberated in the distance—a Jeep inside the base, a wild beast stirring outside. “How is it fair that we would fall in love with each other when we have such a fundamental difference of opinion about what constitutes the perfect life together?”
“One of us would have to compromise.” She couldn’t douse the whisper of hope smoking through her that they were even having this discussion.
He stroked down along her arm, just a simple caress that stirred her more than a kiss from any other man. She’d been drawn to Jose on a deep and undeniable level from the first moment she’d seen him. She just hadn’t expected chemistry and kismet to have such a harsh sense of humor. Just looking at Jose now hurt so badly she fought the urge to fall to her knees.
“What if I said,” he swallowed hard, “that I’m willing to do whatever you want?”
For a greedy instant, she wanted to throw her arms around his neck and hold on, to say to hell with the smart decision or the inevitable. She just wanted him and would give up anything, do anything to be with him. Until reason smothered the whisper of hope before it could reach a full flame. They needed to find a way to accept each other rather than change each other.
“I would say you’re breaking my heart. I would also say I can’t be happy if what I’m doing makes you unhappy.” She held onto his elbows, her nails digging in deep as if she could hold onto this moment, hold onto him. “Truly, Jose, this is pointless and we both know it. We’re only delaying the inevitable.”
Even as she hoped he would tell her she was wrong, she couldn’t miss the frustration tightening his jaw.
His hands slid from her face to her shoulders. “I think you’re the one not being honest with me or yourself. I offer to give you whatever you want and you still turn me down? Who’s really afraid of the perfect life?”
His accusation made her gasp, each wording slicing clean through her. It wasn’t true, damn it. She’d poured her entire heart and dreams into their relationship. She tipped her head back to blink away tears blurring the stars.
“Shit,” he cursed softly.