“See, that’s one thing about being an alcoholic. I can never allow myself to grow complacent.”
Did she get what he was saying here? How he was trying to tell her he couldn’t risk ending up like his mother or his sister, unable to care for their children. He was scared as hell to risk failing as a parent. He was going to make damn sure to break the cycle.
The weight of it all piled on top of him, threatening to smother him. He looked around the restaurant, at the exits, needing air and space.
Stella touched his arm lightly and his gaze zeroed back in on her fast. She looked at him with an understanding, or at least he hoped so, damn it.
“Stella?”
“Do you know Morse code?”
What the hell? He blinked through his confusion. “Of course. It can be crucial in a survival situation.”
“So you could understand if I blinked a message to you right now.” She tapped his wrist once more before folding her hands in her lap. “Something that might be too risqué to say in such a public place.”
“I believe I could.”
He followed the sweep of her long eyelashes as she blinked to him a message that showed she understood him completely.
Time to leave. Together.
***
Stella kept her eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep recharging from her time as a captive. She just wanted to be close to Jose for a little while longer, because once she looked up at him, the reality of their breakup would be there between them. For a while longer, she could indulge in the feel of his lean body pressed to hers. She could draw in the scent of his shampoo with each breath.
How could everything about him be so familiar even after a month apart? She’d been trying so hard to forget him, even thought she’d made real progress. Wow, had she ever learned otherwise. All their time away from each other seemed to have faded. And as long as she kept her eyes closed, this little faraway room and the generic bed could have been their hotel room in Egypt that night they’d first made love.
They’d had dinner on the Nile after an exotic day of sightseeing. He’d delivered another wildly unique date. Nothing about Jose was ever predictable, which made him all the more intriguing to a woman who’d devoted her life to solving puzzles.
Her heart had been tugged by how hard he’d worked to build a life for himself. She’d known there was no turning away from him, from the inevitability of what her heart and body wanted.
She’d blinked Morse code at their table, then again later in the crowded elevator, enjoying making him deliciously uncomfortable. Although from the glint in his eyes, he hadn’t really minded.
And then they’d been in their room together. Alone. And hungry for each other. Some things definitely never changed…
***
Silently, Stella did a half circle in their hotel room in Egypt. Her job had taken her around the world, but this place still struck a dreamy chord deep inside her. An archway swept over the double doors leading out to a terrace with mosaic tiles. Lights from an island shore and boats on the Nile glittered in the night, the same waters that had served as such an incredible backdrop for her romantic meal with Jose. Words failed her right now, but apparently he felt the same, so that was cool.
Turning back to the room, she took in the heavy furniture, the gold gauze draped in a swag over the carved headboard of a king-size bed. Jose stood in the middle of the space in a loose linen shirt and pants, a quietly commanding presence just by existing. He didn’t have to try. He was one of those individuals born with integrity, with an earthy magnetism.
But he didn’t make a move on her as she would have expected. He just tossed his wallet on the armoire by the TV along with his room key. She thought she caught sight of a condom tucked in his wallet, but that didn’t matter. She carried her own.
Nerves tapped in her stomach and she tried her best to decipher why she was scared, but apparently nerves didn’t know Morse code. She knew this was right and she was absolutely certain she wanted to be with him. The scents of their date swirled in her mind so tangibly she could swear she still smelled the incense, the spices, and the light glistening of perspiration. The things they’d shared with each other about their childhoods had been intense, unifying.
While she couldn’t help wishing they’d met at a less complicated time, they were here together, now, and she wasn’t turning away.
“Jose,” she said simply, “this night has been almost perfect.”
“Almost?” A dark eyebrow angled upward.
Nerves tingled along her already sizzling skin. She’d been thinking of this since their first date, in reality probably since the moment she saw him lift that scuba mask on the boat. She knew this was right, that he was the one, but with expectations so high, she couldn’t help fearing somehow something would go wrong.
Steeling her spine and pushing back doubts, she pulled her hand from her hobo bag and placed a condom on the bedside table. “But I bet we can make it one hundred percent perfection by morning.”
He ambled toward her, one sexy step at a time. “That’s a bet I’m more than happy to take.”
Then he kissed her and the last thing she thought about was the room’s décor or timing. All she cared about was the man in her arms. He swept back the green cloth over her hair, the silky fabric slithering down and off. His hands followed. Stroking. Tempting. Along her back and sliding down to cup her bottom. Her body melded to his. Her br**sts went tingly and tight against the muscled wall of his chest. The rigid length of his erection pressed into her stomach.