“Daisy, you died, but Revive didn’t bring you back,” he says.
“What did, then?” I ask, finally closing my eyes, barely hanging on to consciousness.
“Blah, blah, blah,” I hear Mason say, except I’m pretty sure that’s not actually what he said. I force open my eyelids one last time.
“What saved me?”
This time, because I can see his lips, I get it.
“CPR.”
forty-two
When I’m feeling better and looking less like Frankenstein, instead of taking me back to Omaha like I want him to, Mason flies with me to Washington State. That same day, he boards his second plane in a week bound for Washington, D.C. Even though God and Cassie are in custody, Mason wants me under a watchful eye until he’s sure it’s all over. Still jumping at shadows, I’m okay with being watched.
For two weeks, Mason checks in on the phone or through email every night, but he never says very much. I try to keep it light and enjoy my time with Megan, but I have questions that need to be answered before I can fully move on.
And there are things to say, too.
My second to last night in Seattle, I dial Matt. I’ve spoken to him twice since the accident, but both times it was too brief and stilted: Mason was in the room the first time, and Megan was hovering the second.
“Are you alone?” I ask. It’s late; Megan and her mom are sleeping.
“Yeah, just listening to some music,” he says. “How are you feeling?”
“Pretty good,” I say. “I’m back in regular clothes, and the scabs don’t itch as much. My tongue doesn’t feel like I pierced it anymore.”
“That’s good.”
“I still look like I got beat up.”
“At least you’re feeling better.”
I listen to Matt inhale and exhale; it makes me shiver.
“Listen, Matt,” I begin. “I want to say thank you.”
“You’re welcome… again,” he says with a little laugh.
“I’m serious,” I say. “I don’t know how I can ever thank you enough. You saved my life. I owe you—”
“Naw,” Matt interrupts gently. “We’re even.”
“For what?” I ask.
“For… you saving me, too,” he says.
“What do you mean?”
“I just don’t think I’d have gotten through Audrey’s death without knowing you were there for me. Even though we didn’t talk much, having you in my life… That was enough. It helped. It was huge. I know I’m never going to get over it completely—I wouldn’t want to—but now I feel like I can actually deal, and I owe that to you.”
We’re quiet for a few seconds. I think about how odd it is that after Audrey died, when I didn’t hear from Matt, I spent a lot of time wondering if he was slipping away. I didn’t know it, but he was holding on for dear life.
“I was about to tell you something right before everything happened in Hayes,” I say. “Right before you clicked over to the other line.”
“What’s that?” Matt asks in a low tone.
I take a deep breath and decide to go for it.