“Oh, I know,” I interrupt. “I’m a little embarrassed to tell you why. But I guess I’ve shared a lot today, so why not put it all out there?”
“Okay…”
“I’ve died five times.”
Now Matt’s the one who’s silent.
“Are you still there?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he says. “Whoa.”
“I know,” I say, ashamed. “I mean really, it’s more like four—I had to be Revived twice after the bus crash—but technically, five vials means five deaths. After that first day… well, I’m really allergic to bees, and I guess I’m accident-prone, too.”
“No way,” Matt says. “What… I mean, what’s it like?”
“What?”
“Dying,” he says.
“Oh.”
“If you don’t mind talking about it,” he adds.
“No, it’s okay,” I say. “Um… I don’t really remember that much about it, to be honest.” It’s a total lie: I remember many graphic details, but I don’t want to cause Matt more pain than I already have. He might think death talk is fascinating right now, but later, when Audrey’s time comes, he’ll be haunted by my stories of being afraid and in pain.
“Oh, okay,” Matt says, sounding a little disappointed. But he changes the subject anyway. “Are you going back to school tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“Audrey, too.”
“Really?” I ask, excited.
“Yep, the doctor cleared her,” Matt says happily. “Only he wants her to be with people at all times in case she has a problem, so my mom won’t let her drive to school alone. We’re going together.” Pause. “Want us to pick you up?”
I smile at how normal the conversation is now, even though Matt knows a completely abnormal thing about me.
“Yes,” I say.
“Okay, we’ll be there at seven twenty.”
“Awesome.”
It’s late and that’s the logical end to the conversation, but I get the feeling that Matt wants to say something more. I wait patiently, my nervousness snowballing with each passing second. Finally, he speaks.
“Daisy…”
“Uh-huh?”
“That was one freaking weird afternoon,” he observes. His tone is low, intimate. It makes goose bumps pop up on my arms.
“I know.”
“But it was good,” Matt says.
“It was?”
“Yeah,” he says. “It was weird, but it was okay, because of you. Because I feel like I know you a lot better now. I feel sort of honored that you told me all that. That you showed me the secret stuff.”