“Thanks,” I say quietly, following him outside into the warm fall evening.
I climb into the passenger seat of his car. It feels and smells familiar, thanks to our ride from Kansas City. Matt starts the engine and plugs in his iPhone—or maybe it’s Audrey’s—then quickly turns down the dial from full blast to normal. I roll down my window halfway to let the fresh air into my lungs. Matt rolls his down, too.
My favorite song ever begins as Matt pulls away from the curb. A breeze sends a waft of Matt’s shampoo my way, and that combined with the fresh scent of the fall air that still wants to be summer makes me want to inhale and hold my breath until I might die if I don’t let it out. I look at Matt’s profile again and he must feel my gaze because he smiles even though his eyes are still on the road.
The perfectness of the moment makes me think of Audrey and all the moments like this that she won’t have.
It makes me mad at Mason, until I realize that it’s not his fault.
It’s the program’s.
“What are you thinking about?” Matt asks.
Once again, I consider breaking my vows and Mason’s trust and telling Matt about the Revive program. But then I remember Mason’s uneasy feeling; I remember the strange call to Sydney, and the way that God wanted to move up the tests. Something is going on, and telling our secrets definitely won’t help the situation.
>“We’ve got a lot to talk about,” I say with a broad smile despite the circumstances.
Audrey sits up and gets comfortable, then looks at me excitedly. “Okay, spill.”
Finally, when I can’t procrastinate any longer, I dial Mason’s number. I have a nervous stomach; this must be what normal kids feel like when they break the rules. I hear him pick up and brace for the worst. But the worst doesn’t come.
“Are you all right?” he asks, concerned.
Surprised, I’m silent.
“Daisy, are you there?”
I clear my throat. “Yes,” I say weakly. I clear it again. “I’m here.”
“Are you all right?” Mason asks again.
“I’m fine,” I say. “I wanted…” My voice trails off.
“You wanted to see your friend,” he answers for me.
“Yes,” I say.
“I understand,” Mason says. Then, softer, “I wish you would have talked to me about it.”
“I know, but you were at Wade’s and I just found out and I felt like I needed to be with Audrey right away.”
“How did you get there?” Mason asks.
“Audrey’s brother, Matt, came and picked me up,” I say, rationalizing that it’s the truth; I’m just altering the timeline.
“Uh-huh,” Mason says, like he’s going to ask more about Matt.
“It’s really upsetting,” I say, bringing it back to Audrey.
“I know, Daisy,” Mason says softly. “You let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”
“Anything?” I ask.
“Within reason,” Mason says hesitantly.
I look around to make sure I’m still alone in the McKeans’ kitchen.
“Revive her,” I whisper. “When it happens, I mean. Bring her back.”