I skip the trip to my locker before math, opting instead to arrive early and see what on earth this boy could be so mad at me about.
Minutes later, I realize that being early was a good choice.
Dear London,
First off, let me just say that I love you. Keep that in mind as you read on….
My name is Luke Henry and I’ve been your boyfriend since I started at Meridan in October. You don’t remember me in your future for some reason we haven’t sorted out yet, but I’d like the chance to find out why.
You’re really mad at me right now, and rightly so. I never told you that we’d met, but we had. When we were younger, we went to camp together. I was fascinated by you and how, every day, you’d befriend me again even though you didn’t remember me from the day before. You were my first real crush, and now you’re my first real love.
After the Winter Formal on Saturday night, I found the notes that you used to remember me and I told you the truth. You were right when you said that I’d been lying to you for all this time. I’m so sorry, London, and all I want is the chance to redeem myself. I have no idea why I did it. Maybe I thought you’d think I was a stalker. Maybe I just wanted to see if you’d ever wake up and know who I was.
You didn’t.
But, London, we’re good together. I don’t want to lose you. I made a huge mistake, but I hope that you can consider forgiving me. Because like I said in the beginning, I love you, London Lane.
Always.
Luke
* * *
After school, a floral hatbox sits before me with its innards exposed. Luke’s apology letter in one hand and a photo of a happy couple in the other, I feel like my innards are exposed, too.
My mom didn’t seem surprised when I asked her about him. She led me right to the hatbox, with a look that bordered on patronizing.
“Well, that didn’t take long,” she said.
“It’s not over yet,” I replied, grabbing the hatbox and taking refuge in my room.
Now, in a word, I’m thrown.
I started at the beginning, and after reading about the first few times Luke and I spoke, I was ready to dial his number and accept his apology right then and there.
But then I read on, with his betrayal in mind. Every seemingly pleasant moment filtered through this new lens of lies became darker—dirtier. He was keeping a secret from me the whole time, never letting me know the real Luke.
Then again, I was keeping a secret from him, too.
In a way, we were both at fault.
Still, his lie was worse.
Wasn’t it?
My cell phone rings beside me and I know that it’s him, even though the number isn’t stored in my phone. I consider ignoring the call, but can’t help but answer.
“Hello?” I say quietly.
“Hi.” A smooth voice breathes into the phone, sending chills down my spine. Why did he lie? If I wasn’t mad at him, I could be staring into his blue eyes right now.
“Hi,” I say back.
“I know you said that you needed time, but I had to call,” Luke begins.
“You’re not exactly giving me space,” I say, determined not to be charmed so easily. Gorgeous or not, he hurt me.
“I know,” he says softly, sounding helpless. “What can I do?”