I know where my notes are.
They’re right where I left them.
Right where I was reading them before Luke picked me up tonight.
Right where I sent Luke to hang out.
They’re in the kitchen.
“Luke!” I shout, running out of my bedroom and down the stairs, as if it will make any difference. “Luke!” I shout again in vain.
I know even before I’m down the stairs that he’s already seen them.
No answer comes from the direction of the kitchen. I quicken my pace and nearly slip on the polished hardwood while rounding the corner to the kitchen.
“Luke,” I say again, to his back. He faces the table and doesn’t speak.
“Luke?” I try a gazillionth time.
He turns, holding a single letter in his hands.
I stand, frozen, staring at him.
Finally, he speaks.
“I wondered how you did it,” he says.
Still frozen, I’m confused.
“Did what?” I ask.
“How you remembered me this time,” he says. “I mean, I’ve caught you a few times, forgetting things. But most of the time, you seem… normal. You seem to recognize me each day.”
My furrowed eyebrows rise as my eyes widen with the shocking confirmation that he knows.
Luke knows. For a moment, it’s almost a relief. I don’t have to work so hard. I don’t have to…
Wait, Luke knows?
Then, I realize. For four months now, the boy before me has been lying to me.
He’s as bad as my mother.
Is there anyone in my life who isn’t deceiving me?
The relief is gone; the anger is here. My shoulders fall and my arms draw close, as if to protect myself from the world. Blood rushes to my face and my ears pound. My heart races.
I find it difficult to speak. But finally I’m able.
“You knew?” I ask, boiling.
“Yes, London, I knew,” he says, smiling hesitantly, as if he doesn’t know whether he should.
The smile sends me over the edge. My hands tighten into fists, and I feel the urge to scream at the top of my lungs.
“For how long?” I hiss, putting a hand on the counter to steady myself. I think of the cards from my father. The betrayal from my mother. And now this.
“Since we were eleven,” Luke says matter-of-factly, fueling the fire that’s already raging in my veins.