1/30 (Sun.)
Outfit:
—Faded Levi’s
—Red sweatshirt
School:
—Bring book for English
—Review drills for Spanish quiz before school
—Buy SAT prep book
Important stuff:
Jamie. Still not speaking. Try asking her to help with finding Dad (read back and look in the big envelope in the desk). Also, try to think of a plan to help end her tragic relationship.
Mom. See the big envelope mentioned above.
Luke. SUPERHOT BOYFRIEND! He’ll be there before school with coffee and food of some sort; don’t worry about breakfast. Dating almost three and a half months. Supergood kisser. Flip through notes and check out the photos all over the room. See Saturday’s note about a party at his friend Adam’s house. Today, we went to the movie Elephant Bride and it was really stupid but the day was fun anyway. I beat him at a fighting video game before the movie. I was the Red Warrior.
Held hands the whole movie and shared popcorn; he called me a popcorn hog. Went to his house after and he played his guitar for me for a while until Mom called and told me to come home for dinner. We kissed before I got out of the car. Yum. Oh, he drives a minivan— don’t hold it against him.
20
What I’m really thinking right now is “whoa.” What comes out of my mouth, miraculously, is a simple, sultry, “Hey.”
“Hey yourself,” he says, backlit and beautiful, standing on my porch with a lidded coffee cup in his hand. I can see his breath in the frigid air as it escapes his mouth.
There is something overwhelming about the moment. His unwavering gaze, effortless smile, and obvious ease, combined with the February sunrise, make me feel like my legs might give out underneath me.
“Ready?” he asks gently.
“Yep,” I say, in a measured tone that I’m surprised I’m capable of using. I follow him from the porch to the minivan idling in the driveway.
I thought I was prepared.
This morning, I read months of notes. I flipped through dozens of photos.
But Luke in real life is something else.
Luke in real life is something no amount of notes could prepare me for. My living, breathing boyfriend is amazing.
Trying to act as if I remember being here before, I slide into the passenger seat and buckle my belt. Once I’m settled, Luke gestures to a coffee waiting for me in the passenger cup holder.
“There are muffins in the console,” he says casually as he backs out of the driveway. I open the compartment between us to find breakfast from what will be my favorite bakery until it goes out of business in a few years.
I know from notes that this has become our ritual: Luke driving me to school each day, often surprising me with morning treats. But thanks to my lack of proper memory, it feels like a first for me today, and I love it.
“Jamie ever call you back yesterday?” Luke asks as he drives. My notes didn’t say I called her, but they would have if she’d called back.
“No,” I say, pretty sure that I’m telling the truth.
“Bummer.”
Too soon, we’re pulling into the student lot. Even though we’re one of the first cars there, Luke turns into a space in the back row.