“What? No!” I practically shout into the phone. “I can’t talk to her about that,” I add at a lower volume.
“I hear you,” Jamie says in a way that annoys me. Jamie’s mom will never be sneaky like mine. She’ll support Jamie through everything.
“Anyway, I did it,” she says.
“Did what?” I ask.
“Ugh, your messed-up memory is so annoying sometimes,” she says with a heavy sigh. “I met Ted after school.”
And then, I remember.
I remember the relationship that will destroy a marriage, ruin a career, and break my best friend’s heart. I recall notes about trying to talk her out of it, and more notes about trying to ignore it.
I remember the future when it all plays out, and suddenly I feel sick to my stomach. Jamie is stubborn, but I should have tried harder.
“Oh, Jamie. Are you okay?”
“Okay? Are you serious? I’m better than okay. He’s amazing.”
I can’t help but wonder if this is in response to Jamie seeing me with Luke.
“Jamie, I just think you need to really consider what you’re doing. This is a big deal.” I’m trying to sound like a concerned friend and not a parent, but it’s coming out the other way around.
“I thought you’d be happy for me.”
“J, I want you to be happy. I just don’t think this is right. I’m really worried about you.”
“Well, don’t be,” Jamie snaps.
I know she’s pissed, and yet, I have to keep trying. I ignore the notes that told me never to tell Jamie about her future.
“He’s not going to leave his wife, and you’ll just end up hurt. You’ll even try to…”
“SHUT UP, LONDON!” Jamie shouts into the phone. “I told you not to tell me anything, and you wrote it down, so I know you know. Don’t even try to pretend you don’t.”
“Fine,” I say forcefully. “I won’t tell you. But you don’t have to remember the future to know that a grown man only wants one thing from a high school girl.”
“Don’t be a bitch, London.”
“I won’t, if you stop acting like a slut.”
We’re both silent, and I immediately want to suck the biting words back into my mouth. But it’s too late. My memory is right: Jamie and I won’t talk again for a while after this. Still, I try to fix the situation.
“J, I just worry about you.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry anymore. We’re done.”
Click.
15
10/27 (Wed.)
Clothes:
—Black cardigan with yellow tank underneath
—Faded Levi’s