My head hurts. A headache is blooming across my forehead, behind my eyes, and I just want to go back to bed and hope that this nightmare goes away soon. More than that, I want to return to my dreams and see if Mhal is there. I glance over at Rachel's Jurik. Would Mhal look like him? Or Gwen's companion? They're both handsome, but somehow their faces don't match what I envision for Mhal. They're both too wild. He's arrogant, Mhal. He'd be…
Oh god. I think he'd be like Azar.
Which is crazy. Azar's not a dragon…is he? I stare at the leader of the fort, suddenly worried. He doesn't look like Melina, now that he stands with her. He's subtly different, his eyes most of all.
I don't know what to believe anymore.
Azar glares at all of us and then turns back to Melina. "No one is coming forward."
"There's an easy way to do this," she says in her calm, reassuring voice. "There's no need to terrify everyone."
"They deserve it. Fear is the best tool of the ruler."
She just gives him a look that says she clearly disagrees. "We can just take the girls outside and see which one the dragons react to. There's no need to bully."
He doesn't like her idea, that much is obvious. But he gives a crisp nod and flicks a hand at us. The guards spring to action, nudging us with their guns. "You heard the lord. Outside."
"I don't have my shoes," whines one girl.
"Then you'd better hope this doesn't take long and whoever it is speaks up," retorts the guard. They're on Azar's side.
I'm torn. I worry it's me that they're looking for. But what if I'm wrong? What if Mhal is all in my imagination? Worse, what if they decide I'm a threat to the program and Azar doesn't want to give up his dragon and I'm thrown out of the fort?
Or what if they decide to just kill me?
I swallow hard and remain silent, even as I'm herded out with the others. No one else has had weird dreams lately—about bugs or anything else. I've asked around discreetly and listened in to conversations, and I seem to be the only one having trouble sleeping. It could be that I'm losing my mind. That I'm imagining it all.
What happens to me if I get kicked out of the fort? What happens to Bethany and Michael, who depend on me for food? A mental image of the pot of bugs hits me and I fight the urge to vomit. They'll survive, then.
The moment we step outside, the cold air rips through the thin layers of clothing. I'm wearing nothing but my sleep shift and a blanket, both of them coarse and cheap. It's not enough to keep the chill out, and I suddenly worry about winter and food and everything else. Is the fort going to shit? Are we all going down with it?
"No touching," a guard calls out as we pile into the street just outside the program dormitory. "Remember the rules."
Someone starts to cry, and I look over at Manda. Her fists are clenched at her side, her face pale. "Not me," she whispers. "Please not me."
I swallow hard, but there's a knot in my throat the size of one of Michael's bugs, and I can't seem to find the words to reassure her. No one wants to be picked by a dragon. The moment Rachel was “found” by a dragon, she disappeared from our group. I barely see her anymore, and I don't know if she's happy or miserable. I look for Rachel and her dragon-man, but all I can see are soldiers and more women from the program.
It's late, the skies dark and cloudy. There's a barrel fire down the street, but mostly it's just dark outside and I stumble into the girl in front of me, who glares. "Sorry," I whisper back, hoping no one notices. "Accident."
That's all I need is to be kicked out of the program because I accidentally tripped and touched another girl.
"This far enough, my lord?" one of the guards calls.
I turn, looking for Lord Azar. Melina is still at his side, her pale pink dress fluttering in the night air. She's got Azar's shirt tucked around her shoulders, and the lord's chest is bare as he stalks forward, his mood as sour as ever. He takes a few steps and then turns to give Melina a glare. "I do not like letting them go."
"I know," she says softly, and moves to his side. "It is just for a moment. You do want to see if it is someone else interfering with your dragons, do you not?"
He grits his teeth.
"You can trap them again," Melina says, and then adds, "If you must."
His eyes narrow and for a moment he looks furious, but Melina's calm expression never changes. "You know I must. They are the only things that keep this fort safe. I will keep everyone here safe. I will keep you safe."