She pressed her knuckles harder against her forehead. She honestly didn’t know, which is why she told him you can only shake a fruit tree so long before it would quit giving fruit. Ginny considered herself a strong person, but she didn’t know if she was strong enough to keep telling Gavin she loved him without even getting an “I like you” in response! She had told him he was chasing after fool’s gold with Taylor, and she believed that with her whole heart. If she hung on long enough, maybe Gavin would see it too.
Before making love with her, Gavin told her that he believed they were soul mates. She now clung to the image of his face when he moved the sheet aside—when he confessed that he believed. Did saying it mean he truly believed it in his heart of hearts? Does he still love Taylor? Does he love me? She just didn’t know.
Was she the one chasing fool’s gold?
“Are you praying?”
Startled, Ginny dropped her hands before turning at the sound of his voice coming from the bedroom doorway. “No, I was just thinking,” she said truthfully.
“Seemed to me you were praying.”
Ginny pushed her hands into the overly large silk bathrobe she found in the bathroom. “I don’t pray anymore.”
She noticed a subtle shift in his attitude since he left to take a shower. His face was now impassive, and he had a standoffish attitude she could feel over short distance separating them.
“Because of what Killyama told you?”
“Kind of useless, isn’t it?” Ginny shrugged, removing her hands from her pockets to pick up the remote from the coffee table. Plopping down on the couch, she turned the television on.
Gavin moved to stand next to the coffee table, alternating between watching her and looking at the television as she switched channels. “Why is it useless?”
“Because I’m still working through some issues with Him.”
“Exactly how much did Killyama tell you?” He nodded as if her issue was understandable.
“Are you going to be angry at Killyama if I tell you?”
“Depends on what you’re going to tell me.”
Ginny decided on not telling him, since one of his eyelids was already beginning to twitch.
“You can pick something for us to watch. I’m going to take a shower and get dressed.” Placing the remote down, she started to rise when Gavin sat down next to her and pressed a hand to her thigh, stopping her.
“Were you particularly religious before?”
“Not like Willa—I can’t quote Bible verses—but I believed, if you prayed hard enough, that He would protect you.”
“You don’t believe that anymore?”
“No, I don’t. I thought you were dead, because I couldn’t feel you anymore. I thought He was taking care of you in heaven. He wasn’t. I know you prayed for His help, and He made you wait too long. I’m having a hard time forgiving Him for that.”
“How do you know I prayed to Him?”
“Who wouldn’t in the situation you were in? Even if you didn’t have a ton of faith, you would be desperate enough to pray. Didn’t you?” she asked.
“More times than I can count,” he revealed.
“See? That’s my issue with Him.”
“Ginny, your faith in God shouldn’t be decided on me.”
“Why not? What happens to you happens to me.”
Gavin studied her in silence, his remoteness easing. “Why do you have to make everything so fucking hard?” Giving an overly loud sigh of frustration, he stared at her intently. “Every time I make a fucking decision concerning you, you warp my brain with your cockamamie reasoning.”
The knife in her heart twisted. “What decision did you make about me?” Was he about to tell her that he regretted having sex with her or coming with her to Clindale Island?
“Nothing. It no longer matters.” Removing his hand from her thigh, Gavin reached for the remote. “Go have your shower. I’ll find us something to watch.”
“Okay.” Bending down, she pressed what she intended to be a quick kiss on his lips, only to find herself pulled down until she was straddling his lap.
Opening her mouth with his lips, Gavin boldly thrust his tongue inside. As a kisser, he had what it took to make her mind turn to mush. As the kissee, she didn’t want it to ever end.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she gave into the demands his mouth made on hers. A rush of warmth repaired the damage her thoughts of Taylor and him together had caused. Ginny knew the relief would be short-lived before more doubt would slice a larger hole.
Easily rising with her weight, Gavin carried her into the bedroom before slamming the door closed with his foot.
“What about my shower?” she murmured against his jawline.
“We can take one together when I’m done.”
“You just had one.”
Laughing when he tumbled them to the bed, she sensually rubbed her palms down his sleek back.