Her eyes stay on the tray. "Can you put those somewhere else? Somewhere really tall that I can't reach."
"Of course." I repack the box and stuff it in on top of one of the cabinets.
She fidgets. She picks up one cookie and inhales its scent. There's something on her face, a look of wonder, like she can't believe she's actually smelling a cookie.
It's probably been years since she's had one.
She looks to me. It's a should I? kind of look. I nod and she turns her attention back to the pastry.
She takes the first bite. It's a tiny one, and she spends forever chewing. She keeps her eyes on the plate. She pulls her hand back, breaks the cookie in half.
She takes another bite.
"You okay?" I ask.
"Yeah." She stares at the treat like it mystifies her, like it's a paradox, something that shouldn't exist.
She takes another bite. I offer my hand again, but she ignores it. Something is different about her. She's pulling away, drifting to some other place. It's in her eyes--she's not there. She moves faster, almost frenzied. I try to keep my mouth shut. This could be part of the process. But it doesn't seem normal.
"Ally, Ally..."
She eats the last bite and looks at her empty hands. She's mystified by them, like she doesn't know where the cookie went.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
She snaps out of whatever it is. "Yeah."
"You seem lost."
"I'm fine." She won't hold my gaze. She's somewhere else, closing off.
I lean closer. "Talk to me."
"I don't want to."
"You can't keep this bottled inside you."
"The whole point of the exercise is to keep everything inside me. That's why you're here."
"Don't be glib."
"I'll be however the fuck I want."
"Okay." I can't let my feelings get in the way. "Be however you want."
"I can't have done this, Luke. I need to fix it."
"How?"
"I have to get rid of it."
"Why?"
She stares out the window, at the bright light falling over the backyard. "Because..."
"Because why?"
She presses her fingers together with a sigh. "Because I do. I can't explain it, but it's so obvious. I'm not allowed to eat cookies. I can't have eaten it. And I can't sit here with this horrible feeling of fucking up again. I have to do something to fix it."